Reflection Of My 2021 Goals

2021 was a tough year! I experienced several low moments, some of which culminated into my lowest of lows. Someone dear to me however reminded me: it could have been worse. Yes, my eyes still well up on some days, however instead of wallowing in a pity party, I choose to count my blessings – and when you change the lens with which you view things, the days get better. The reality is, life is a combination of valleys and mountains and I indeed have a lot to be grateful for.

This marks my 7^th blogpost reflecting on my annual goals. The previous 6 can be found here:
– Reflection of My 2020 Goals
– Reflection of My 2019 Goals
– Did You Achieve Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2018 Goals
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– Dee’s 2015 In Review

My One Word for 2021 was ELEVATE. How did I fare across 7 dimensions of my life?

1. BUSINESS/FINANCIAL:
a. Passive investment in our home country by Q1
In 2021, Chief and I became more intentional about making some investments at home. We identified a few opportunities, did as much desktop due diligence as we could and got someone we trust to do the physical due diligence for us. We ended up making a small passive investment. While it doesn’t really move the needle, little by little, we’ll get there.

b. 2 diversified passive investments by Dec
We are firm believers in investing in an asset class and area we understand extremely well. However, in 2021, we purposed to diversify a bit and in Jul, after careful research, we made a small passive VCC investment that came with great tax incentives.

b. 2 debt repayments by Jun and Dec
While I understand the multiplier effects of healthy leverage – a school of thought Chief subscribes to – I still dislike debt and make it my mission to pay it down as quickly as possible. In Apr and Dec, my mission was accomplished, albeit short-lived as we continue to make more investments.

2. HEALTH/PHYSICAL:
a. Run/walk 900-1000km by Dec
In 2021, I ran/walked 1055km (50-117km every month)!

b. Hike 1x/week
We enjoy hiking as family and continued with this in 2021 which entailed ~10km hikes almost every weekend (at least 90% of them)! Nowadays our little one insists on walking the 1st km before sitting in her hiking carrier bag on daddy’s back.

c. Maintain 2020 fat loss
2020 saw me snatching back my pre-baby body. I maintained this for a good chunk of 2021 until I commenced a 6+month course of treatments. Despite still eating healthily 80% of the time and exercising at least 3-4 times a week, I lost some of my traction. However, I keep reminding myself that this is just for a season and continue doing my part.

3. SPIRITUAL:
a. Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) every week
2021 marked my 7^th year and Chief’s 3^rd year doing BSF. After finishing Genesis earlier in the year, we commenced the study of Matthew in Sep. Recently, I started watching BSF Kids (for 2-5 year olds) with our little one and one of my highlights has been teaching her the bible verses through songs. BSF International is free and has thousands of classes all over the world including online Zoom classes for every age offered at various times all days of the week. Sign up for a class near you today.

b. Family devotion every week
We continued with a tradition we started in 2020 where every Saturday evening, we (Chief’s side of the family) gather together via zoom to share what’s happening in our lives and pray together as a family.

In Jun, we also started gathering together virtually every Tuesday evening as family and friends to pray for my mum in love who has been unwell. We continue trusting and believing God for her healing.

4. MENTAL:
a. 20 – 24 good books
Chief and I are readers – we love how books sharpen our minds, inspire us and help us grow. Be sure to check out the 26 Books I Read In 2021. Also watch out for Chief’s top picks of the 35 books he read in 2021.

b. 1 podcast a day
I thoroughly enjoy podcasts and mostly find myself listening to them over the weekends. I lost count but certainly listened to at least 8 podcasts each week (over 400 in 2021). My go-to podcasts included:
– Focus on the Family Marriage Podcast
– Loving Well Podcast
– The Daily Mastery Podcast by Robin Sharma
– Robin Sharma Mastery Sessions
– The VT Podcast “Ideas That Matter”
– Your Next Best Self with Dr. Patricia Murugami
– Band of Mothers Podcast
– Life with the Lindseys
– Our Love Journey with Mpoomy and Brenden
– Wisdom & Wellness with Mpoomy Ledwaba
– Gems and Nuggets Podcast Series by MaryAnne Mwaura
– Zindua

c. Mentor
In 2021, I purposed to select one or two mentors whose feet I would sit under and learn. I narrowed down to Robin Sharma and Carla Harris but ended up selecting Robin Sharma. 8 of the 26 Books I Read In 2021 were by him. I also listened to hundreds of his podcasts. What a rich year of learning from him 2021 was!

5. CAREER:
a. 4 deal recommendation memos per quarter
I am an Investment Professional and one of my key deliverables at work is to originate deals and submit at least 4 approved deal recommendation memos a quarter (or just 1 memo if the deal is sufficiently large). In 2021, I submitted 19 deal recommendation memos, 12 of which were approved (1 was large) and 3 of which I am awaiting feedback on. This was certainly no mean feat and I have God to thank!

b. Take 4 deals to screening by Dec
Another target I set for myself was to take at least 4 of my approved deal recommendations to our screening committee – the next stage of approval. I successfully took 2.

b. Expand my network in my 10 countries of coverage
I am responsible for Southern Africa and purposed to broaden my network in each of the countries I cover despite not being able to travel much given the pandemic. Thankfully with zoom, I was still able to do this in most of the countries and as things eased up towards the end of the year, did a business trip to Zambia. Perhaps 2022 might include more travel.

6. SOCIAL:
a. 2 Destinations
Every year, we plan for at least 2 holidays. With the pandemic, we did 3 local trips in SA (over a few long weekends) and a trip to Kenya.

(i) In Apr, we did a long weekend in Bela-Bela
We accompanied Chief for golf, saw some meerkats and snakes, went hiking, swimming, interacted with elephants and I got a spa treat.

(ii) In May, we did a long weekend in Umhlanga/Durban
We spent hours at the beach, ran on the promenade, went to Ushaka marine world and Chief played some more golf. Enroute, we also passed by the Nelson Mandela Capture Site.

(iii) In Sep, we travelled to Shela/Lamu
We got to see around Shela Town and enjoyed Shela beach, did a boat trip to Manda Island and some fishing en route, plus did a tour of the Takwa ruins. I also did a sunset dhow cruise and a tour of Lamu town.

(iv) In Oct, we did a long weekend in Sun City
We had loads of fun at the Valley of Waves which has lots activities for both the young and young at heart (all of which we sampled) and Chief played some more golf!

b. Date night once a week
In 2021, we purposed to reintroduce our weekly pre-baby date nights (a notch higher than the coffee dates we did in 2020). We modified them to date evenings where we had early dinner and were back home by sunset to release our nanny, a win-win for all.

7. FAMILY:
a. Moms & tots classes
We continued with moms and tots classes. With the pandemic, we opted to do some of the classes via zoom between Jul and Sep. However, for the remainder of the year, we did physical classes and as usual, had loads of fun! Our little one even graduated in Dec.

b. Continued swimming classes for our little one
After doing her swim float infant course when she turned 1 in 2020, we continued with her maintenance classes which are now down to 1x a week. Daddy also practised with her whenever they got the chance.

c. School selection for our little one by Dec 21
In SA, people usually book schools for their little ones immediately they are born! We were late to the party but finally got round to researching and narrowing down our preferred schools. It’s possible we may push out taking her to pre-school by another 6-12 months but at least we’ve done the groundwork.

Looking back over the last decade or so, I am glad that each year, I get to do this exercise! It has stretched me, kept us accountable and helped us achieve a lot! It has also served as a reminder of the things we should be grateful to God for and how faithful He has been in our lives. How did you fare in your 2021 goals? Have you set your 2022 goals yet or selected your one Word? Do check out my blogpost Have You Set Your Goals? 2nd Book Worth Reading in 2021 for some guidance. Don’t underestimate the impact of intentional living. Despite the curveballs that 2021 threw at me, being very clear on exactly what I wanted to achieve in other aspects of my life helped me stay on course for the most part. Remember, failing to plan, is planning to fail and if you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.

Until next time,

To an intentional year of putting our best foot forward!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

You can also pop into the “DeeLicious Gourmet by Dee” section for a glimpse of some of the yummy but healthy dishes I have prepared while “cooking up a storm” in my kitchen (together with the recipes):
– Breakfasts
– Starters
– Main Courses
– Salads
– Eggless, Wheat-Free Desserts
– Snacks

Thank you!
Dee

Reflection of My 2020 Goals

What a year 2020 has been! Each year a time like now, I am grateful for the goals I set at the beginning of the year because it allows me to look back and see what I have been able to achieve by the grace of God.

This marks my 6^th blogpost reflecting on my annual goals. The previous 5 can be found here:
– Reflection of My 2019 Goals
– Did You Achieve Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2018 Goals
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– Dee’s 2015 In Review

So how did I fare in my 2020 goals? Most of them were similar to my previous years’ ones with some bit of tweaking as they are in line with my overall long term goals.

1. BUSINESS/FINANCIAL:
a. 1-2 new passive investments by Dec
I thank God we were able to make 1 additional small passive investment in 2020. If there’s one thing the COVID 19 pandemic has taught everyone, it’s the importance of not being 100% reliant on a salary. Our ultimate goal is to get to a point where we generate passive investment income equal to 50% of our combined salaries through investments that do not consume much time. Not sure if or when we’ll ever get there but little by little we try to do something.

b. Another debt repayment by Dec
Most of our passive investments are partly financed by debt, which has enabled us to do a lot more than we would have been able to accomplish with savings alone. Each year, I am always striving to pay down our debt(s) as quickly as possible! I dislike being in debt or paying interest. My husband, on the other hand, believes in the multiplier effect of healthy well calculated debt. He always makes fun of how my day to day job involves offering debt investments to businesses whereas I don’t like personal debt. It perhaps is a woman thing or just my personality. So I keep at it. I am utterly grateful to God that in 2020, despite the pandemic, I was able to fully pay down not just one but two of our debts. This will however be short-lived as we’ll most likely be embarking on another passive investment(s) in 2021. Aluta continua!

2. HEALTH/PHYSICAL:
a. Meet weekly Vitality goals
We are part of Discovery Vitality which incentivizes its members to exercise each week by setting exercise targets for each member and rewarding them if one meets their weekly target. This year, I achieved my weekly target more than 90% of the times! Even during the lockdown when we were not allowed to exercise outside the house, I discovered apps like Adidas Training that gave me varieties of indoor workouts. With the easing of lockdown, I resumed running and hiking and being outdoors has never felt more amazing. In Dec, I challenged myself to run 100km and it felt great to achieve it just before Christmas. This has certainly been one of my fittest years!

b. Fit into flat tummy clothes (62kgs) by Jun 20
After having procrastinated my “Project Return Back to Sexy/Flat Tummy” several times due to breastfeeding, in Jul 2020 I found a sustainable program that allowed to me to finally lose inches without dieting/starving/compromising my milk supply. For more info on this, you can check out my blogpost How I Lost Inches In 6 Weeks – Part 1. Since then, I have continued with this lifestyle and it feels amazing to finally fit into all my pre-pregnancy outfits whilst still breastfeeding:-)

3. SPIRITUAL:
a. Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) every week
2020 was my 6^th year doing BSF after having enjoyed studying Revelation in 2015-16, John in 2016-17, Romans in 2017-18, The People of the Promised Land (i.e. people in the Bible such as Joshua, Ruth, Samuel, David and Solomon) in 2018-19 and Acts and Letters of the Apostles in 2019-20. In Sep 2020, we commenced the study of Genesis and as usual, it’s been great unpacking the word!

For the last 2 years, I’ve been doing the classes online (via Zoom) as opposed to going to physical classes and I absolutely love them! The fact that I don’t have to commute to and fro has worked perfectly for me. With the pandemic, most of the physical classes ended up being held on zoom as well – so my hubby who used to do the men’s physical classes ended up doing his classes on zoom as well. BSF International is free and has thousands of classes all over the world. Whether new to the Bible, a seasoned reader, child or adult, BSF offers classes for every age around the world. There are now hundreds of online Zoom classes offered at various times all days of the week – There is sure to be a class that’s fits your schedule according to your time zone. Sign up for a class near you today!

b. Family devotion every week
The family devotion I had in mind at the beginning of the year ended up being slightly different but somehow better.

(i) 1st, we started taking baby girl to Sunday School as soon as she turned 12 months – the one where you drop off your child and pick them up after the service. Yes, at 12 months. It is never too early! I must admit, it was a bit difficult for me at first and I was the first one to dash out of church to go pick her immediately the Pastor said Amen;-) However, it was great to finally listen to the entire sermon from beginning to end without chasing after a toddler in the parents’ room! Our church also has a really excellent kids’ program that caters for different age groups ranging from ages 1 to 12 years i.e. toddlers (1-3 years), pre school (4-6 years), grade 1-4 and grade 5-6. With the lockdown, they continued airing amazing pre-recorded short services for the different age groups with the content changing every Sat night and I must say, this is one of the best things ever. Whereas I usually limit my little one’s screen time during the day, every evening we usually put for her the toddler and pre school services for her to watch and she absolutely loves them!

(ii) Every evening before bed time, hubby usually reads bible stories to baby girl (as well as other story books). Once they are done, I usually join them where we pray together as a family. In the mornings when I go to feed her, I pray with her as well. It continues to bring me lots of joy when I see her putting her hands together every time when it’s time to pray. I pray she may grow into a God fearing young lady!

(iii) With the lockdown, we decided to start doing weekly family devotions together with my hubby’s side of the family. It’s been great catching up and praying together as a family each week and seeing God answering our prayers one after another. I am thankful to be part of a family that prays together.

4. MENTAL:
a. 20 – 24 good books
I am a huge fan of listening to audio books via Audible. I was doing great until I discovered podcasts earlier last year! Honestly speaking, how did I only discover podcasts in 2020? I am hooked! I love that they are short, I can fast forward the speed to my liking and can jump from 1 podcast to the next depending on which topic I am interested in each day. They are also free of charge! I used to track each podcast I listened to initially but eventually, I lost count. One thing is for sure though: I listen to at least 1 podcast each day and certainly listened to over 100 podcasts in 2020. My favourite ones included:
– Gems and Nuggets Podcast Series by MaryAnne Mwaura
– Your Next Best Self with Dr. Patricia Murugami
– Marriage Today with Jimmy & Karen Evans
– Life with the Lindseys
– Our Love Journey with Mpoomy and Brenden
– Conversations with Mpoomy and Yolz

You can find these and other podcasts on several avenues including Apple, sound cloud etc. Having said that, I still managed to finish reading/listening to 15 books in 2020 which was not bad at all:-)

b. Continue learning basic Zulu
This is one of those goals I did not achieve at all! I paid for an online pre-recorded course which was valid for 12 months. However, after doing a class or 2, that boat sailed! Our nanny speaks Zulu to our little one 80% of the time and English 20% of the time. When given instructions, baby girl understands both Zulu and English very well. Soon, when she starts speaking Zulu, mommy and daddy will have no clue what she’s saying with the exception of a few phrases here and there:-)

5. CAREER:
a. Change jobs
After having spent about 7.5 years in my previous role, I went on a sabbatical from end of Mar (2 weeks after the lockdown commenced in mid Mar). I am grateful to God that despite the pandemic, I was able to find a new role which I commenced in mid Sep that I absolutely enjoy!

b. Close 2 deals
In hindsight, this was an ambitious goal given that I was on sabbatical for almost 6 months. However, before leaving my previous role, I worked on a $28m healthcare opportunity in Morocco which received investment committee approval. The deal was eventually concluded a few months thereafter.

6. SOCIAL:
a. 2 Destinations
With the pandemic, our travel plans did not go as expected. The plan was to go to Kenya for Christmas as well as one other destination but that did not happen. We however managed to at least do 2 local trips in South Africa as well as several day trips over the weekends once the lockdown eased up:

(i) We did a week-long slackpacking hiking trip along Kosi Bay which borders Mozambique with our little one (who was 19 months old at the time) on our back. I initially wasn’t sure how we were going to do it with her but it turned out to be absolutely amazing. We hiked different terrain (grasslands, wetlands, forests, dunes, beaches), crossed over lakes, snorkeled and swam!

(ii) We also did a weekend getaway in Mpumalanga where we got the chance to hike the Blyde River Canyon (the 3rd largest canyon on earth) and feed a hippo.

(iii) During the weekends, we also managed to hike over 17 different hiking trails all over South Africa.

7. FAMILY:
a. Attend moms & tots classes
At the beginning of the year, we transitioned from moms and babes classes to moms and tots classes (for 1-3.5 year olds) which I attended with my little one. When the pandemic hit, the classes ended up being held on zoom. We however resumed resumed physical classes later in the year and baby girl and I had loads of fun!

b. Take baby girl for swimming classes from Feb 20
We also took baby girl for swimming lessons as soon as she turned 1 where she was taught how to float should she ever accidentally fall into a pool. Unfortunately with the pandemic, her classes were cut short for 6 months. She however resumed classes towards the end of the year and she now can swim very well for an under 2 year old.

Wow! I am thankful to God for all I was able to accomplish despite all the challenges 2020 came with. I absolutely enjoyed the 6 months I spent at home with my baby girl and the opportunity I have had to be engaged and present in her formative years. I have come to embrace the new normal of working from home. I pray for God’s continued protection over our lives and yours. May 2021 bring with it better days, answered prayers, abounding blessings and favour upon favour. May God’s will be fulfilled in our lives and may we continue to be a blessing to others.

How did your 2020 go? Have you set your 2021 goals? One thing is for sure, I never regret setting these goals each year. They keep me focused, accountable and give me something to work towards. If this is not something you normally do, would you consider giving it a shot?

Until next time,

Happy Reflecting!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

Reflection of My 2019 Goals

It’s that time of the year when I get to reflect on the year that has been. I usually do this in Dec/Jan but this time round I am late! Well….better late than never:-)

Jan 2019 marked the arrival of our baby girl, princess and sweet little dream come true, Emmanuella, which means “God with us”!

With the baby, I had to set fewer/easier goals, be easy on myself in terms of the timelines and accept that I wouldn’t be able to achieve some goals. I therefore gave myself grace and room for extension or postponement when I needed to.

This marks my 5^th blogpost reflecting on my annual goals. The previous 4 can be found here:
– Did You Achieve Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2018 Goals
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– Dee’s 2015 In Review

So how did I fare in my 2019 goals?

1. BUSINESS/FINANCIAL:
a. 1-2 new passive investments by Dec
Our quest to have “side hustles” that do not consume much time continues and I thank God we were able to make 2 additional small passive investments. The ultimate goal is to get to a point where we generate passive investment income equal to 50% of our combined salaries. We are still miles away from achieving that but are cognisant of the fact that each investment we make gets us a step closer and so we continue to keep at it each year. After all, Rome was not built in a day!

b. Another debt repayment by Dec
Most of our passive investments are partly financed by debt. This has enabled us to do a lot more than we would have been able to accomplish with savings alone. I am however very careful about how much debt we take on and each month, I am always striving to pay it down as quickly as possible. Every single spare penny I have literally goes towards it. Meanwhile, while I am busy reducing our debt, Chief is busy thinking how we can take out more debt to invest more! Therefore I did not achieve this goal in 2019 (as the more we do, the fewer the opportunities we have to make repayments). It is however still a goal of mine to repay debt and I pushed this out to 2020. Let’s see whether I will achieve this as Chief will most likely come up with more ideas about another this or that!

2. HEALTH/PHYSICAL:
a. Run 100^th Parkrun by Dec
This is one of the 2018 goals I pushed to 2019 after falling pregnant and having to cut back on running. Determined to finally achieve it, every weekend since I was cleared by the doctor post my surgery (except those we were out of town), I showed up for the 5km Parkruns (even when I was full of milk:-) or a few minutes late because I had to breastfeed before leaving the house). In Oct 19, I proudly ran my 100^th park run – 2 months ahead of my Dec 19 target! What a joy it was!

b. Project flat tummy/return back to sexy by Aug
I was very lucky that I didn’t put on much weight during my pregnancy. However, this is one of the goals I had to push out to 2020. Given that I chose to breastfeed (and was still at it 12 months post baby), watching my waist was not an option as eating well is necessary for lots of milk production. Besides, with breastfeeding, I was always hungry! I drank lots of porridge and ate carbs I ordinarily wouldn’t eat! In addition, I barely had the free time to work out much as my breaks at work were spent expressing/pumping milk for the baby. And in the evenings, as soon as I left work, I was dashing home to release my nanny. My consolation was the close to a hundred 150ml sachets of expressed breastmilk I had in my freezer at 12 months. At least I had enough stash of liquid gold to keep my baby going for another 6 months before I decided to finally stop expressing/pumping milk at 12.5 months. I however carried on with breastfeeding twice a day which is less demanding. Mommy did her best!

3. SPIRITUAL:
a. Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) every week
I struggled to get back into BSF the 1^st few months after having the baby. I however discovered I could do it online (via Zoom) and resumed classes in Sep when we commenced the book of Acts and Letters of the Apostles. I absolutely love the online classes! The fact that I do not have to commute to and fro and could choose a class time that works for me was a game changer! This marks my 5^th year doing BSF International which is free and has thousands of classes in over 70 countries. There are also now hundreds of online Zoom classes offered at various times all days of the week – There is sure to be a class that’s fits your schedule according to your time zone. Sign up for a class near you today! We will be commencing the study of Genesis in Sep 2020.

b. Family devotion + home worship every Sun
I resumed going to church about 4-6 weeks after having had the baby. The parents’ room became our new spot in church. Over and above going to church together as a family and doing our individual devotions, I was hoping we could also do family devotions and home worship every Sunday as well. We however didn’t get round to doing the latter regularly. Hoping we can find a way of incorporating it in 2020. In the meantime, I have been praying with baby girl every morning and evening. It is a joy seeing her putting her hands together whenever I say “let’s pray”. May she grow into a God-fearing young lady and may we model a good example for her.

4. MENTAL:
a. 20 – 24 good books
I knew this was an overly ambitious goal as there’s barely any time to read a book post baby. I however managed to finish reading 22 books and I was reading my 23^rd and 24^th books by the end of 2019. I did this while baby was asleep (instead of sleeping/watching TV/movies/series’) as I to tried to elighten myself while navigating this new journey (from no cry sleep solutions to becoming babywise, stimulating baby developments, introducing solids, nannies etc.). Whereas majority were on parenthood, I also listened to a couple of audio books (via Audible) on marriage and personal development in my quest to continually develop myself.

b. Continue learning basic Zulu
From my interactions with the cleaning lady/tea lady/driver in the office, I managed to pick up a few more Zulu words and phrases. Whilst still very basic, I could at least exchange a few words/phrases with them each day.

5. SOCIAL:
a. 2 Destinations
Travelling together is something we love to do and I am thankful thankful to God that we were able to do not just 2 but 4 holidays in 2019, all with baby. I like to tag her along so that she gets to experience new things with us and fit into our lifestyle.

(i) We did a long weekend getaway in BelaBela where we joined Chief for golf (he played while we drove in the golf cart:-))

(ii) Celebrated our anniversary in Japan:

(iii) Did another long weekend getaway in Knysna:

(iv) And celebrated Christmas in Dubai:

6. FAMILY
a. Have my mum over in Jan/Feb
I am thankful my mum came to visit in Jan-Feb 19 immediately I had the baby and took care of us for 1 month. She fed us, bathed us, groomed us, sun-basked us, put us to sleep, gave us company and gave us abounding support beyond measure! What a blessing it was having her around! I can never say thank you enough. May God bless her soul! My mom in love also came to visit twice (on one occasion with my grandma in love and on the other occasion with my aunty in love)! What a blessing that was too and they got to join us for baby girl’s dedication in church.

b. Attend moms & babes classes
After going back to work, weekends became the key times I had to spend proper time with baby. I specifically chose a moms and babes class which I attended with my princess since she turned 2 months and we had lots of fun!

c. Kenya Trip in Dec for family to meet baby
We also managed to take baby girl home in Dec where she got to meet the rest of our family and friends. She had 2 ceremonies (gucugia mwana) hosted by both our mums where she was blessed and prayed for! We truly celebrate her!

I am thankful for the year that was. As usual in life, it had its highs and lows! I believe God has a purpose for everything that happened and I will continue to trust Him. Comitting 2020 unto His hands and praying for His continued guidance, blessings, favour and answer to prayers. May He open doors and enable us to continue being a blessing to others.

How did your 2019 go? May God guide you as you think through and write down/revise your 2020 goals (especially in light of what’s happening with COVID 19). To a new decade abounding in blessings!

Until next time,

Happy Reflecting!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

What Do You Do in The 1st 30 Minutes After Waking Up?

1st 30 minv2

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Do you grab your phone to scroll through emails, Whatsapp messages, Instagram or Facebook likes/comments/posts etc. that came through the night? Do you realize that this robs you of the opportunity to take control of your day? Unknowingly, those scrolls end up making someone else’s priority jump in front of yours! Perhaps you had planned to go to the gym/run/do your devotion/work on your personal project/that item on your list of goals for the year, but somehow you get preoccupied with other people’s agenda that your agenda ends up being pushed to the sidelines. You’ve got to find time to put yourself first before checking in with the rest of the world and clouding your brain with other people’s “stuff”!

But your phone is buzzing with juicy notifications waiting to be read, you’ll say! How can you resist the urge? Well, the following has really worked for me:

1. When I go to bed, I put my phone on airplane mode to remove all distractions. I only put it back on after I am done with my “me-time” in the morning. It may be hard initially but with time, it becomes second nature.

2. I then do these 5 things when I wake up which help me take control of my day:

1st, I write down 3 things I am grateful for.
2nd, I recall one positive experience I had over the past 24 hours and journal it. I expound more these two in my blogpost Are You Counting Your Blessings?
3rd, I think through and write 2 things I want to accomplish today to help me accomplish my goal and why. I basically ask myself: “What are 2 things that matter to me that I must absolutely work on today?” I break them down into:
– 2 personal ones and
– 2 work ones.
These are the primary things I purpose to focus on for the day. It is absolutely refreshing to look back the next day and tick off these items. Are there days when I don’t accomplish all the items on my list? Oh yes! I however make sure I accomplish most of them and put what I didn’t accomplish in my list the next day(s).
4th, I ask myself “What 3 items would I like to pray for today?” The beauty of recording your prayer items is it helps you retain evidence of requests God has been faithful in answering over the years lest you forget what God has done for you! This is particularly useful in those seasons when you find yourself complaining God is not answering your prayers. When you look back, you will realize He has been faithfully answering many of them along the way.
Lastly, I spend some time doing my devotion/reading the word of God and a chapter/a few pages of a book. This year, I have been using The 365 Day Daily Devotional by Dean Ivey and it has been great! Looking forward to finishing going through the Bible by the end of the year. You can also download the “Bible In One Year” app which I have used in the past and is free of charge!

“When you develop the habit of finding 30 minutes for yourself first thing in the morning to work on things that matter you, it creates a chain of events that are mind blowing”, says Mel Robbins, in Chapter 10 of her book The 5 Second Rule. I completely agree with her! It’s a game changer. Give it a shot and see for yourself!

Until next time,
Happy taking control of your mornings!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Photo credits: Shizphotography

Thank you!
Dee

22 Great Books I Read in 2016

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When was the last time you read a book that developed you? What I love about books is you don’t have to wait for your company to pay for your training in an area you’d like to sharpen. You don’t have to feel disadvantaged if you didn’t have access to elite education or the best role models in life. Books give you access to great mentors all over the world (even those no longer alive). You can learn anything you’d like. Since 2014, I’ve been setting myself the target of reading 2 books a month and honestly, this has been one of the greatest investments in my life. Below is a summary of the 22 great books I read/listened to in 2016 (2 of which I was reading for the 2nd time) that had excellent insights on business, success, leadership, communication, time management, marriage, spiritual growth, nutrition/health and investing. These could serve as a great reading list for you in 2017!

SUCCESS
1. The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy
The Compound Effect is the principle of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices. The book describes how small attitude and behavior adjustments, when applied with consistency, can result in significant life changes. It is a distillation of the fundamental principles that have guided the most phenomenal achievements in business, relationships, and beyond.

2. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
Why do some people achieve so much more than others? Can they lie so far out of the ordinary? Malcolm looks at everyone from rock stars to professional athletes, software billionaires to scientific geniuses, to show that the story of success is far more surprising, and far more fascinating, than we could ever have imagined. He reveals that it’s as much about where we’re from and what we do, as who we are – and that no one, not even a genius, ever makes it alone. Outliers will change the way you think about your own life story, and about what makes us all unique.

3. The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney
Some people – at least 1 out of 4 – prefer to avoid the limelight, tend to listen more than they speak, feel alone in large groups, and require lots of private time to restore their energy. The Introvert Advantage dispels common myths about introverts-they’re not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial-and explains how they are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation such as chitchat, phone calls, parties, or office meetings can easily become “too much.” Most importantly, it thoroughly refutes many introverts’ belief that something is wrong with them. Instead, it helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, while offering dozens of tips, including 8 ways to showcase their abilities at work and strategies for socializing. In short, The Introvert Advantage shows introverts how to take advantage of their special qualities not only to survive in an extrovert-oriented world, but to thrive.

4. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
This book provides a holistic, integrated, principle-centered approach that has revolutionized the way people solve personal and professional problems and go on to lead extraordinary lives. Covey reveals a step-by-step pathway for living with fairness, integrity, service, and human dignity―principles that give us the security to adapt to change, and the wisdom and power to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates. The 7 Habits are so famous and have been integrated into everyday thinking by millions of people for one reason: They work. Covey offers life-changing advice on everything from leadership, time management, and teamwork to success, love, and taking control of your life.

BUSINESS
5. How to Win at the Sport of Business: If I Can Do It, You Can Do It by Mark Cuban
In this book, Mark shares his wealth of experience and business savvy. He provides a catalogue of insider knowledge on what it takes to become a thriving entrepreneur. He tells his own rags-to-riches story of how he went from selling powdered milk and sleeping on friends’ couches to owning his own company and becoming a multi-billion dollar success story. His unconventional yet highly effective ideas on how to build a successful business offer entrepreneurs at any stage of their careers a huge edge over their competitors.

6. Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future by Peter Thiel, Blake Masters
What valuable company is nobody building? The next Bill Gates will not build an operating system. The next Larry Page or Sergey Brin won’t make a search engine. If you are copying these guys, you aren’t learning from them. It’s easier to copy a model than to make something new: doing what we already know how to do takes the world from 1 to n, adding more of something familiar. Every new creation goes from 0 to 1. This book is about how to get there.

7. If You’re Not First, You’re Last: Sales Strategies to Dominate Your Market and Beat Your Competition by Grant Cardone
During economic contractions, it becomes much more difficult to sell your products, maintain your customer base, and gain market share. Mistakes become more costly, and failure becomes a real possibility for all those who are not able to make the transition. But imagine being able to sell your products when others cannot, being able to take market share from both your competitors, and knowing the precise formulas that would allow you to expand your sales while others make excuses. If You’re Not First, You’re Last is about how to sell your products and services—despite the economy—and provides the reader with ways to capitalize regardless of their product, service, or idea. Grant shares his proven strategies that will allow you to not just continue to sell, but create new products, increase margins, gain market share and much more.

LEADERSHIP
8. The Virgin Way: Everything I Know about Leadership by Richard Branson
While building the Virgin Group over 40 years, Richard Branson has never shied away from seemingly outlandish challenges that others considered sheer lunacy. He has taken on giants like British Airways and won, and monsters like Coca-Cola and lost. Branson gives an inside look at his strikingly different swashbuckling style of leadership. Learn how fun, family, passion, and the dying art of listening are key components to what his extended family of employees around the world has always dubbed the “Virgin Way.” This unique perspective comes from a man who dropped out of school at 16, suffers from dyslexia, and has never worked for anyone but himself. He may be famous for thinking outside the box but Branson asserts that “you’ll never have to think outside the box if you refuse to let anyone build one around you.” This is a unique book on leadership from someone who readily admits he has never read a book on leadership in his life. So expect the unexpected.

COMMUNICATION
9. Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal by Oren Klaff
Whether you’re selling ideas to investors, pitching a client for new business, or even negotiating for a higher salary, Pitch Anything will transform the way you position your ideas. One truly great pitch can improve your career, make you a lot of money – and even change your life. Success is dependent on the method you use, not how hard you try.

10. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds by Carmine Gallo
Ideas are the currency of the 21st century. In order to succeed, you need to be able to sell your ideas persuasively. This ability is the single greatest skill that will help you accomplish your dreams. Gallo provides a step-by-step method that makes it possible for anyone to create, design, and deliver a TED-style presentation that is engaging, persuasive, and memorable. This book will give you the tools to communicate the ideas that matter most to you, the skill to win over hearts and minds, and the confidence to deliver the talk of your life.

TIME MANAGEMENT
11. Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy
There just isn’t enough time for everything on our “To Do” list—and there never will be. Successful people don’t try to do everything. They learn to focus on the most important tasks and make sure they get done. There’s an old saying: if you eat a live frog first thing each morning, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it’s probably the worst thing you’ll do all day. Using “eat that frog” as a metaphor for tackling the most challenging task of your day, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on, but also the one that might have the greatest positive impact on your life, Eat That Frog! shows you how to zero in on these critical tasks and organize your day. You’ll not only get more done faster, but get the right things done thereby enabling you to spend more ‘face time’ with the people you care about, doing the things that give you the greatest amount of joy in life.

12. The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss
Forget the old concept of retirement and the rest of the deferred-life plan–there is no need to wait and every reason not to, especially in unpredictable economic times. Whether your dream is escaping the rat race, experiencing high-end world travel, or earning a monthly five-figure income with zero management, The 4-Hour Workweek is the blueprint for living more and working less. It includes dozens of practical tips and case studies from readers, who have doubled their income, overcome common sticking points, and reinvented themselves. Also included are templates for eliminating email and negotiating with bosses and clients, how to apply lifestyle principles in unpredictable economic times, and the latest tools, tricks, and shortcuts for living like a diplomat or millionaire without being either.

MARRIAGE
13. Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman
With his characteristic warmth and humour, Dr. Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God’s plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse. Using frank descriptions, this book has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.

14. Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse by Ed Young, Lisa Young
The predominant message in our culture is that it’s okay to have sex whenever, wherever, and however we want. Sex has become just sex. But while society has taken sex too far, the church hasn’t taken it far enough. God wants couples to make love in marriage – with passion, with purpose, and with pleasure. Marriages aren’t experiencing all the benefits that come from a healthy sex life. Couples are facing a barrage of influences that keep them from connecting with each other regularly – the kids, the career, the house, the errands, etc. Sexperiment shows people that sex in marriage is more than just sex, and it’s more than a chore. The Youngs believe it’s time to get back to understanding the context of sex in marriage and that it’s time for couples to break the barriers keeping them from a healthy sexual relationship. Couples ought to experience the benefits of having sex regularly, intentionally, and creatively. Sexperiment will allow couples to discover that the intersection of God and sex can lead to a life punctuated by exclamation marks!

15. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley
Willard identifies the 10 most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.

16. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse? Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.” Husband: “Do we have to?” Drs. Patricia and Steven have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH
17. Experiencing God: How to Live the Full Adventure of Knowing and Doing the Will of God by Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, Claude King
Experiencing God is based on 7 Scriptural realities that teach us how to develop a true relationship with the Creator. By understanding how God is working through us even as we try to fathom His ways, we can begin to clearly know and do His will and discover our lives greatly and gracefully changed.

18. A Woman After God’s Own Heart: Making His Desire Your Own by Elizabeth George
Elizabeth shares practical, scriptural insights on how you can pursue God’s priorities when it comes to:
– your husband–foster a deep commitment to serving and honoring him
– your children–pray faithfully for them and teach them God’s Word
– your home–create a nurturing atmosphere and a tapestry of beauty
– your walk with the Lord–grow through love of Scripture and in spiritual maturity
– your ministry–learn to reach out and be a blessing to others

19. The Power of Praying Through the Bible by Stormie Omartian
Stormie journeys with readers from Genesis to Revelation and reveals how God designed prayer so that they can:
– communicate with Him
– embrace the promises of Scripture
– release burdens to God’s care
– walk with Jesus daily
– listen to the Spirit’s leading
Stormie brings home the truths and the wonder of God’s promises. This gathering of devotions from The Power of a Praying Woman Bible shares Stormie’s heart and the foundation of God’s Word to provide a source of spiritual encouragement and strength for every reader.

HEALTH/NUTRITION
20. Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition by T. Colin Campbell and Howard Jacobson
In The China Study, Colin (alongside his son, Thomas) revolutionized the way we think about our food with the evidence that a whole food, plant-based diet is the healthiest way to eat – eat a diet based on whole, plant-based foods and dramatically reduce your risk of a broad spectrum of diseases, including heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer. Now, in Whole, he explains the science behind that evidence, the ways our current scientific paradigm ignores the fascinating complexity of the human body, and why, if we have such overwhelming evidence that everything we think we know about nutrition is wrong, our eating habits haven’t changed. Whole is an eye-opening, paradigm-changing journey through cutting-edge thinking on nutrition, a scientific tour de force with powerful implications for our health and for our world.

INVESTING
21. The Outsiders: Eight Unconventional CEOs and Their Radically Rational Blueprint for Success by William N. Thorndike
What is the hallmark of exceptional CEO performance? Quite simply, it is the returns for the shareholders of that company over the long term. Thorndike brings to bear the analytical wisdom of a successful career in investing, closely evaluating the performance of companies and their leaders. You will meet 8 individualistic CEOs whose firms’ average returns outperformed the S&P 500 by a factor of 20 i.e. an investment of $10,000 with each of these CEOs, on average, would have been worth over $1.5 million 25 years later. In The Outsiders, you’ll learn the traits and methods striking for their consistency and relentless rationality that helped these unique leaders achieve such exceptional performance. Humble, unassuming, and often frugal, these “outsiders” shunned Wall Street and the press, and shied away from the hottest new management trends. Instead, they shared specific traits that put them and the companies they led on winning trajectories: a laser-sharp focus on per share value as opposed to earnings or sales growth; an exceptional talent for allocating capital and human resources; and the belief that cash flow, not reported earnings, determines a company’s long-term value. Drawing on years of research and experience, Thorndike tells eye-opening stories, extracting lessons and revealing a compelling alternative model for anyone interested in leading a company or investing in one and reaping extraordinary returns.

22. The Most Important Thing: Uncommon Sense for the Thoughtful Investor by Howard Marks
Marks is renowned for his insightful assessments of market opportunity and risk. After 4 decades spent ascending to the top of the investment management profession, he is today sought out by the world’s leading value investors, and his client memos brim with insightful commentary and a time-tested, fundamental philosophy. Informed by a lifetime of experience and study, The Most Important Thing explains the keys to successful investment and the pitfalls that can destroy capital or ruin a career. Using passages from his memos to illustrate his ideas, Marks teaches by example, detailing the development of an investment philosophy that fully acknowledges the complexities of investing and the perils of the financial world. Brilliantly applying insight to today’s volatile markets, expounds on such concepts as “second-level thinking”, the price/value relationship, patient opportunism, and defensive investing. Frankly and honestly assessing his own decisions – and occasional missteps – he provides valuable lessons for critical thinking, risk assessment, and investment strategy. Encouraging investors to be “contrarian”, Marks wisely judges market cycles and achieves returns through aggressive yet measured action. Successful investing requires thoughtful attention to many separate aspects, and each of Marks’s subjects proves to be the most important thing.

And there you have it! Those are the 22 books that equipped me with invaluable insights in 2016. Do you reckon any of them might help you or someone you know? Why don’t you grab a copy or recommend a few? Do not shy away from investing in yourself or others. Reduce the amount of time you spend on social media/watching series’/TV shows/movies and read more books. I highly recommend listening to audio books which you can buy on Audible. Try out their free 30 day trial where you get 1 free audio book of your choice to try out – you can always cancel the trial before the 30 days are up if you don’t like it. I like audio books because I get to listen to them on my phone when I’m driving to and fro work, when I’m doing a walk/run as a work out, in the plane when I’m traveling for work (instead of watching movies), when on holiday and on road trips with Chief. That way I’m able cover more books amidst my busy schedule. If you prefer reading, you can purchase hard or kindle (soft) copies of all these books on Amazon. You can also check out your local bookshop. Strive to learn something new in 2017!

Until next time,
Happy Investing in Yourself!
Dee

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on marriage:
– The Important Daily 10 Second Kiss in Marriage
– Am I Spoiling My Husband Rotten?
– Invaluable Benefits of Knowing, Understanding & Communicating Your Spouse’s Love Language
– Recreational Companionship – The 2nd Most Important Need For a Man
– Take Time to Touch (If Only for a Minute) Once a Day
– 19 Invaluable Nourishment(s) For Your Marriage

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1

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What do you do when you are getting ready for work? Well, I casually started a habit that invigorates me! For 10-15 minutes, as I am getting ready, I am transported to a different part of the world where I get to listen to great insights from someone smart – someone I will probably never meet in person – but whose insights will sharpen me or teach me something new. What am I talking about? TEDTalks!

TEDTalks are daily video podcasts of some of the best, short, powerful talks where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes or less. The talks cover almost all topics in more than 100 languages. Some of them are extremely hilarious and completely light up my morning. They are freely available on You Tube and below is a summary of 5 TEDTalks, all of which taught me something invaluable:

1. Why do ambitious women have flat heads? | Dame Stephanie Shirley
Dame Stephanie Shirley is the most successful tech entrepreneur you never heard of. In the 1960s, she founded a pioneering all-woman software company in the UK, which was ultimately valued at $3 billion, making millionaires of 70 of her team members. In this frank and often hilarious talk, she explains why she went by “Steve,” how she upended the expectations of the time, and shares some sure-fire ways to identify ambitious women.

She shares 2 secrets of success which stuck with me:

i) Surround yourself with first class people and people that you like
ii) Choose your partner very very carefully

2. How to become a millionaire in 3 years | Daniel Ally
Daniel Ally talks about 3 key principles (summarized by the acronym”BIG“) used by the most successful people who have ever lived. This valuable session offers the solutions that you’ll need to be successful for the rest of your life, whether you want to be a millionaire or not.

B – Read more Books. If you want to learn about money, read books that talk about money; If you want to learn how to manage relationships or become a better communicator, there are many books on that. Most people in the world read 1 book every single year – Facebook! If you study miscellaneous things, you will get miscellaneous results. You become what you study! You say you don’t have time to read? If you read 10 minutes a day for 30 straight days, that’s 1 book a month. 1 book a month in 12 months is 12 books a year – You can do in 1 year what most people do in 5 years.
Remember: Leaders are readers. If you want to succeed, you have to read.
I – Get around the best Individuals you can. We are the sum total of the 5 people we surround ourselves with the most. Are your leaders taking you to the place you want to be? You need people who are inspiring – people that can help you and lift you up to the goals that transcend your own possibility and thinking – people that are smarter than you – people who have gone further than you and know exactly what you need to do to get to the next level. How do you find these people? If you read more books, you’ll find an “about the author” section at the back of the book. Reach out to the authors. Thankfully we live in a new millennium which allows us to get onto their social media and websites and have a conversation with them. We can change by actually understanding what they teach. And if we ask enough questions, we can make great progress in our life.
Remember: The people you are looking for are also looking for you. So get yourself around those people.
G – Set higher Goals. Goals make you stretch and help you to become more of who you are. The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is: a person tries to do too much too fast. The problem with Bucket Lists is: one gives themselves too much time – there’s no urgency. Write your goals down so that you can hold this steadfastly to who you are. Create a plan of action to achieve your goals. Select 1 overarching goal that you would like to accomplish and list 20 ideas that correspond to that particular goal. Imagine if you did this in every area of of your life – financially, for promotions, for your family etc and you wrote your goals down everyday – you would be able to accomplish many things in your life!
Remember: A dull pencil is better than a sharp mind.

3. The happy secret to better work | Shawn Achor
We believe that we should work to be happy, but could that be backwards? In this fast-moving and entertaining talk, psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.

Most companies and schools follow this formula of success: “If I work harder, I’ll be more successful; and if I’m more successful, then I’ll be happier”. The problem is, it’s scientifically broken and backwards. Every time your brain has a success, you just change the goalpost of what success looks like. If you got good grades, now you have to get better grades; if you got into a good school, now you have to get into a better school; if you got a better job, now you have to get a better job; if you hit your sales target, now you have to change your sales target. If happiness is on the opposite side of success, your brain never gets there!

We need to reverse this formula because our brains perform significantly better at positive than at negative, neutral or stressed! This is referred to as the Happiness Advantage. If we can find a way of becoming more positive in the present, then our brains can work even more successfully. Here are 5 ways you can train your brain to become more positive (in just a 2 min span of time done for 21 days in a row) allowing your brain to work more optimistically and more successfully:

i) 3 Gratitudes: Write down 3 new new things you are grateful for each day for 21 days in a row
ii) Journaling: Journal about 1 positive experience you’ve had over the past 24 hours – this allows your brain to relive it
iii) Exercise: This teaches your brain that your behaviour matters
iv) Meditation: This allows your brain to get over the cultural ADHD that we’ve been creating by trying to do multiple tasks at once – it allows our brain to focus on the task at hand
v) Random/conscious acts of kindness: Write 1 positive email praising or thanking somebody in your social support network

4. 10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee
In this insightful talk, Celeste Headlee shares 10 useful rules/ingredients for having better conversations:

i) Don’t multitask – be present – be in that moment – don’t be half in it
ii) Don’t pontificate – you need enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t – everybody is an expert in something
iii) Use open ended questions – start your questions with who, where, how and why e.g. what was that like? how did that feel?- then you’ll get much more interesting responses
iv) Go with the flow – that means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind – don’t stick to the script if it doesn’t flow
v) If you don’t know, say that you don’t know – err on the side of caution
vi) Don’t equate your experience with theirs – if they are talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member; if they are talking about the trouble they are having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job – it is not the same – it is never the same – all experiences are individual. More importantly, it is not about you! You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity
vii) Try not to repeat yourself – it is condescending and really boring. If you have a point to make, don’t keep rephrasing it over and over
viii) Stay out of the weeds – frankly, people don’t care about the years, names, dates and details you are struggling to come up with in your mind. What they care about is you, what you are like, what you have in common – so forget the details
ix) Listen – this is the most important one. If your mouth is open, you are not learning. Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand – we listen with the intent to reply
x) Be brief – a good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject

All this boils down to this: Be interested in other people! Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed!

5. Why I read a book a day (and why you should too): the law of 33% | Tai Topez
In this talk, Tai Topez reminds us that everyone wants the good life, but not everyone gets the good life because not everyone is willing to do what it takes.

Imagine for a second how much more successful you would be if you just started a company 50:50 with Bill Gates as your business partner and he was using every trick of the trade that he used to build Microsoft into one of the biggest companies in the word. Imagine how much more money you would have in your bank account if Warren Buffet was teaching you how to invest in the stock market. Imagine how fit you would be if Arnold Schwarzenegger was your personal trainer showing you how he built his body into one of the most fit bodies. Imagine the change you would be making in the word if Mother Teresa and you were running a charity together and she was showing you what she learnt on the streets of Calcutta helping the poor, the sick and the dying. Mentors have the power to do this in your life. Mentors are more powerful than you can imagine in their ability to transform your life. Your ability to copy mentors is the biggest predictor of the success you’ll have in your life. Did you know Albert Einstein had a mentor? Every Thursday, he would have lunch with him growing up; Oprah Winfrey said she had 2 mentors; Alexander the Great had Aristotle; Bill Gates had Paul Allen; Warren Buffet had Benjamin Graham.

Here are a few things you can do:
i) You should spend 33% of your time around people lower than you – you can mentor them and help them
ii) Have 33% of people at your level– these become your friends or peers
iii) The last 33% are what most people forget about – these are people 10/2o years ahead of you. They’ll make you feel a little bit uncomfortable but that’s what you want. Don’t make the mistake of finding somebody just a little bit better than you. Find somebody 10 times further ahead than you. Don’t be afraid to go to the top! You can get people like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. You’ll be surprised
iv) Humility: You have to be humble
v) Perseverance: You must persevere
vi) Read more: You should see books as hidden treasures. Some of the great mentors are no longer alive. They can however be in your library! Stop seeing a book as a one time event. See it like a friend – read it over and over and just like friends, pick a handful of them. Find 150 books that you can read over and over for the rest of your life. There is no rule about how fast you have to read them. Set your own pace. Sometimes books have just 1 or 2 things that are worth reading. You should try to read at least 1 book a week. There is always someone to learn from. Read more. You will never find all the answers from just one person.

Did you learn a thing or two like me from these 5 TEDTalks? In a world where internet is becoming cheaper, faster and more reliable – even in third world countries – why not take the time to listen to a TEDTalk while you are getting ready for work? It doesn’t have to be every day – even once a week is fine! If you have time to go through Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Whatsapp, then you have time to watch TEDTalks. There are thousands and thousands of topics out there freely available for you and I to tap on to! Give it a try!

Watch out for Series 2 where I highlight other TEDTalks I have really enjoyed.

Until next time,
Happy TEDTalk Listening!:-)
Dee

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on marriage:
–Invaluable Benefits of Knowing, Understanding & Communicating Your Spouse’s Love Language
– Recreational Companionship – The 2nd Most Important Need For a Man
– Take Time to Touch (If Only for a Minute) Once a Day
– 19 Invaluable Nourishment(s) For Your Marriage

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

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