Whoa! What a year 2023 has been! Similar to the past couple of years, 2023 had its share of rough moments: (1) We lost yet again another pregnancy – this was after our 7th round of ICSI/IVF; (2) Our daughter got into a really nasty bike accident that resulted in an air bubble in her brain plus multiple fractures around her eyes, nose, jaw, teeth and both wrists. We however saw God miraculously heal her in the most expedient manner right before our very eyes (thanks to the many prayers from our family, friends, and church folks all over). One wouldn’t even believe she had been in an accident with the exception of her 8 missing teeth (2 of which are already growing back) and she is a happy girl all around; (3) My husband got attacked and bitten several times by my parents’ dogs on the evening of Christmas after celebrating the day with our family. We had to take him to hospital to get his wounds cleaned plus a tetanus injection, the 1st of 5 rabies injections (to be taken over the next 28 days) plus some antibiotics. He however seems to be coping well. That being said, 2023 also had its share of wonderful moments which I am utterly grateful to God for. Join me as I take a walk down memory lane.
I’ve been doing these annual reflections for 9 years now. If you missed the previous 8, they can be found here:
– Reflection Of My 2022 Goals
– Reflection of My 2021 Goals
– Reflection of My 2020 Goals
– Reflection of My 2019 Goals
– Did You Achieve Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2018 Goals
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
My One Word for 2023 was THRIVE – and sure enough, we thrived in several aspects of our lives across the following 7 dimensions:
1. FINANCIAL:
a. Install inverter, batteries and possibly solar panels by H1
Living in South Africa where we experience up to 6-12 hours of load shedding (power cuts) every day, one of our goals for the year was to install an inverter and batteries and possibly solar panels. I am grateful we got to do the 1st two both in our home and our AirBnB and it’s been an absolute game changer. We don’t even notice when there’s load shedding anymore – a privilege we don’t take for granted at all.
b. Fence plot by Q1
We have a piece of land which we’ve owned for several years and each time we’d go check it out, we’d have difficulty locating it or the beacons. In 2023, we decided to cut down the grass, level it, fence it and plant some trees. Unfortunately part of the live fence and trees didn’t make it but my mum stepped in to replant some of them and hopefully they’ll thrive under her careful watch over the coming year(s).
c. Passive investments every quarter
Despite being on only one salary since May 2021 when Chief ventured out to start his own business and not having much disposable cashflow to make large passive investments, in 2023 I purposed to invest a little in Kenyan treasury bills/treasury bonds/infrastructure bonds given that they were offering all time high interest rates (as high as 17%). I only wish we had more cash as such high interest rates are unheard of for risk free instruments.
2. HEALTH/PHYSICAL:
a. Zumba 2-3x a week
In 2023, I continued with my Zumba dance classes 3x week and loved every single minute of working up a sweat while doing one of the things I love doing most – dancing!
b. Run or walk or strength train 2-3x a week
When I was not on the dance floor, I purposed to go for a run or walk or do strength training 2-3x a week. I did a mix of all 3 but enjoyed walking the most as it allowed me to listen to audio books while at it. I however did it with a hiking stick and pepper spray in hand after being attacked by a dog on one of my morning runs in May 2022 that has since left me with my guard up, ready to defend myself while outdoors.
c. Snatch back 2020 fat loss (31-32″ middle waist/62kgs)
Despite exercising at least 5 times a week and eating healthily 80% of the time, I am the heaviest I have ever been. My efforts have continued to be derailed by the hormones that accompanied the 7 back to back ICSI/IVF treatments I have undergone over the past 2.5 years; coupled with the down regulation treatments I needed to go through for several months before each implementation to cool down my uterus by inducing temporary menopause; not to mention the continued treatments post implantation to prevent miscarriages (which unfortunately still occurred despite our efforts). If I showed some of those that have been quick to point out my weight gain the number of medications I have swallowed, inserted or injected since May 2021, they would perhaps be more cautious to not remind me as this is the price that comes with pursuing this journey.
3. SPIRITUAL:
a. Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) every week
In 2023, Chief and I continued with BSF marking my 9th year and his 5th year. Whereas I do BSF Online classes with ladies located all over the world, Chief does virtual BSF International classes with men located in the same country. After completing the study of the People of the Promise – Divided (i.e. books such as 1&2 Kings, 1&2 Chronicles, Jonah, Amos, Joel, Obadiah, Hosea, Isaiah, Micah, Nahum, Zephaniah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Habakkuk etc.), we commenced the study of John in Sep. Both BSF International and BSF Online are free and have thousands of physical/virtual classes all over the world for every age offered at various times all days of the week. Feel free to sign up for a class today.
b. Quiet Time (QT) daily & journal
In addition to BSF, I also enjoyed listening to and reading the daily verses of the day, guided scripture and guided prayers on the YouVersion Bible app. They are/were super quick and a convenient way to to jump start my mornings. I also journaled quite a bit – an invaluable habit I have come to appreciate over the years for capturing my gratitude, daily/weekly plans, thoughts, prayer requests and how faithful God has been in answering them.
c. Family devotion every week
We also continued with our weekly calls as a family (previously on Zoom and now on Microsoft Teams) – a tradition we started in 2020 where every Saturday evening, we (Chief’s side of the family) each share updates of our week, high and lows, and pray together. This has helped us stay connected even when we are away from home.
4. MENTAL:
a. 20 – 24 good books
In 2023, I read 20 books, 7 of which were part of my organisation’s 2023 reading curriculum and some of the best books I have read so far. I am glad I took great notes. These included:
– The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation by Matthew Dixon and Brent Adamson
– Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott
– Power Base Selling: Secrets of an Ivy League Street Fighter by Jim Holden
– The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You by Julie Zhuo
– Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts by Annie Duke
– Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
– Never Split the Difference – Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz. This was my absolute favourite. I have literally applied the principles of this book in real life and seen them working like a charm.
b. Mentors
Similar to 2022, I selected a number of mentors on whose feet I sat under in 2023 – this time round Kenyans or Africans – by watching their video interviews or reading their books. These included:
– Cleaning the Airwaves/The Play House featuring Muriithi Wanjau
– Cleaning the Airwaves/The Play House featuring Julian Kyula
– Seasons: The Stages of a Leader by Muriithi Wanjau
– Rise by Dr. Patricia Murugami
– Pause by Dr. Patricia Murugami
– The CEO X Factor: Secrets for Success from South Africa’s Top Money Makers by KC Rottok Chesaina – I bought 2 copies of this book written by our friend (one for Chief and one for my dad in love) which featured interviews with CEOs of some of South Africa’s top companies – a great combination of different mentors all wrapped up in one.
c. 7 podcasts a week
I certainly exceeded this goal with my go-to podcasts including:
– Focus on the Family Marriage Podcast
– Focus on the Family Parenting Podcast
– Dirty Chai with Chio Podcast – This was a new addition in 2023 by our friend on demystifying career success and it ended up being one of my top 3 podcasts for the year.
– The VT Podcast “Ideas That Matter”
– The Daily Mastery Podcast by Robin Sharma
– 2000 Books Summaries for Ambitious Entrepreneurs
– Your Next Best Self with Dr. Patricia Murugami
5. CAREER:
a. 4 deal recommendation memos per quarter (or 1 deal recommendation above $200m per quarter)
2023 was a great year for me workwise! I was ranked as far exceeding high expectations for the top 10-20% of performers within the firm and I thank God for this favour. He helped me originate 17 investment opportunities (2 of which were above $200m), 14 of which were approved and 3 of which I am still awaiting feedback on. In addition to that, 2 of the transactions I originated were committed/closed which is every investment professional’s top objective (i.e., not just find viable investment opportunities but also have them concluded).
b. 4 Due Diligences
I am grateful I managed to provide due diligence and portfolio monitoring support to 4 transactions and received excellent feedback from the teams I supported on the quality and thoroughness of my reports plus my preparedness and questions asked. I look forward to adding more value to more transactions in the future.
c. Broaden my network in Southern Africa
In 2023, I did 10 business development and due diligence trips (6 to Cape Town, 1 to Zambia, 1 to Malawi, 1 to Botswana and 1 to the U.S.A). The Cape Town trips mainly comprised of conferences, a good number of which I either spoke at or moderated panels and all of which were great for networking. I also attended several workshops or conferences in Johannesburg.
6. SOCIAL:
a. 2 Memorable Holidays
I thank God that in 2023, we got the opportunity to do 6 holidays (3 long ones and 3 short ones over long weekends). We also did a few one-day road trips over the weekends.
(i) In Feb, we did a long weekend in Cape Town
To celebrate one of my closest gal’s 40th birthday, my gals and I flew to Cape Town together with our spouses and enjoyed a sunset cruise, paragliding, walk on the Sea Point promenade and around the colourful houses in Bo-Kaap, hiking the Lion’s Head, and a relaxing half day at the spa in Stellenbosch – just to mention but a few.
(ii) In Mar, I visited the Vic Falls in Zambia
Having viewed the Vic Falls from the Zimbabwe side in 2015, I got to view them from the Zambia side in 2023 during one of my work trips and I can honestly say the view was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! One has to view this wonder of the world from both sides as they offer different experiences. I also ticked off one of my bucket list items by taking a dip (several dips) in the Angel’s Pool! What an exhilarating experience that was and I loved every single minute of it💙!
(iii) In Jun, we spent a week in Antalya, Turkey
My daughter and I tagged along during one of Chief’s golf tours and we invited my dad in love. While at the resort, we enjoyed our time at the swimming pool, water slides, beach, golf course and kids’ club.
On other days, we explored the city’s scenic old town, including Roman-era Hadrian’s Gate, rode the Tunektepe Teleferik cable car for its views, visited the Duden Waterfalls, and enjoyed a Mediterranean boat trip.
We also did a full day tour of Pamukkale, visited the Hierapolis ancient theatre, waded through the thermal pools, swam in the Antique/Cleopatra’s pool and did some bit of shopping at discounted prices.
It was great to do this with my dad in love. Since my mum in love passed away in Jan 2022, every year we have purposed to try to do at least one holiday with him. So far we’ve done 2 (In 2022, we invited him for a golf tour in Durban). Let’s see what 2024 has in store.
(iv) In Aug, we did a long weekend in Clarens and Lesotho
To celebrate my birthday, Chief booked us some time away in Clarens (Free State, South Africa) where we enjoyed our time doing walks, brunches, dinners and crossed the border to Lesotho for some tubing and bum boarding in the snow.
(v) In Oct, we celebrated our 11 Year Anniversary in Washington DC and New York
I tagged Chief along towards the end of one of my work trips and we extended by a week to explore both cities. This was our 1st long trip without our daughter (despite getting her a visa) but we got my mum and her friend to come watch her while we were away given that this was a few weeks after her accident and this gave us peace of mind.
While in New York (NYC), we did the night bus tour, took a cruise to the Statue of Liberty, attended a Broadway Show (MJ/Michael Jackson), hired bikes and rode around Central Park, walked across Brooklyn Bridge, the Highline, Times Square (loved how it came alive at night), Wall Street, Hudson Yards and got views of the Empire State Building while sipping virgin cocktails at our hotel’s rooftop restaurant. Our favourite restaurants were Pocha 32 (Korean), Guantanamera (Cuban with live music in the evening) and Ellen’s Stardust (not necessarily for the food but the singing by the waiting staff most of whom are aspiring to get into Broadway – however be prepared to queue for at least 1 hour to get into the restaurant). We also enjoyed a meal by the roadside from the Halal Guys Food Cart (apparently a NYC experience). Tip: Ubers in NYC are really expensive so we used the subway to get to most places including to and from the airport.
In DC, we walked and hired scooters around the National Mall (which has several monuments and historical sites stretching between the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial), walked past the White House, took a walk in Georgetown till the waterfront, and visited some of the Smithsonian museums most of which were free such as The National Museum of African American History and Culture, The National Air and Space Museum and The National Museum of Natural History.
(vi) In Dec, we celebrated the Christmas holidays in Kenya
It was great for our daughter and us to spend time with our family and friends – something we purposed to do more of.
b. Date night once a week
In 2023, we continued with our date evenings where we got to catch up as a couple. We still got home in time for sunset to release our nanny and on several occasions, extended a bit.
7. FAMILY:
a. Plus 2
Our desire to grow our family featured in our 2021, 2022 and 2023 goals but God’s timing was different. After the multiple rigorous back to back treatments I have been through in these past years coupled with persistent prayers, I can honestly say we tried our best and God knows best. I am grateful for the grace and strength He gave to me to be able to pick myself up after each failed round of IVF/ICSI or miscarriage or the resulting suction evacuation/D&C and go back to work and not just perform but thrive. I am grateful for my organization that covers up to 50% of the cost of egg or embryo freezing so long as one has been part of the organization for 3-5 years depending on their level of seniority. It may not cover the entire cost of IVF/ICSI which is very expensive (and unfortunately not covered by most medical insurances) but it is better than nothing. I also commend organizations such as EABL that recently introduced pregnancy loss leave where they give female employees or their spouses up to 10 days of paid leave if a pregnancy loss occurs before 20 weeks. Ladies and gents, please consider championing this in your respective organizations while you are on your way to and at the top.
b. Our daughter’s continued swimming & gymnastics classes
Our daughter continued to make good progress with both her swimming and gymnastics despite missing 4 weeks of sports while recovering from her accident. Her kicks and strokes along the entire swimming pool length while taking breaths have become stronger and she has also learnt how to do back strokes. We are proud of this little fish.
c. Pre-school from Jan 2023
Out daughter finally commenced preschool in Jan 2023 and is absolutely thriving! We love that in her school, each child is taught according to their pace (which is great given that we had home-schooled her quite a bit). Each month, they have what they call “show and tell” where each child carries something to school and talks about it in front of the class to build their confidence and public speaking skills. How amazing is this for 4 year olds? We have also seen her soft skills such as sharing improve a lot too – a skill she hadn’t perfected yet being an only child. I am grateful we found a school she really loves and looks forward to going to each day.
Those were bits and pieces of our 2023. I am glad I get to do this at the end of each year as it keeps me focused, accountable and grateful for God’s faithfulness in what we have been able to accomplish in the midst of the valleys. Each one of us has their share of challenges. They might not be exactly the same but each one has one thing or the other. We must not despair but keep putting our best foot forward while committing everything to God. Let us remember to count our blessings every day – whether big or small. If you look hard, I’m sure you will find something(s) to be grateful for.
Have you set your 2024 goals and budget? As I keep saying each year, don’t miss the opportunity to be intentional about the year you would like to have. Apart from setting goals, one thing Chief and I have done for many years that I have come to appreciate, is setting a budget and doing monthly accounts tracking each expenditure (so we know where we need to tighten our belts further and where we are doing well). This keeps us focused on what to cut back on, save, give, tithe, set aside for holidays/hobbies, dates, investments, kid(s), family support, education, investment in oneself etc.
I wish you a fruitful 2024 where you will thrive left, right and centre!
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Or my following posts on marriage:
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– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 8 (Support & Listening Ear)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 7 (Caring & Praying)
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– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)
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For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.
You can also pop into the “DeeLicious Gourmet by Dee” section for a glimpse of some of the yummy but healthy dishes I have prepared while “cooking up a storm” in my kitchen (together with the recipes):
– Breakfasts
– Starters
– Main Courses
– Salads
– Eggless, Wheat-Free Desserts
– Snacks
Thank you!
Dee
The other day when I was standing in line to get into the bathroom, I overheard a conversation by some ladies that were standing next to me. It turns out one of the ladies had been running every morning with one of her male colleagues but the guy hadn’t told his wife about it. Apparently, the guy’s wife somehow found out about it and was furious! So this lady was complaining to the rest of the ladies that she couldn’t believe the guy hadn’t told his wife that he was running with her. The other ladies however couldn’t understand why this guy’s wife was furious to begin with. “If he was running with the rest of us who are single, then I would understand; but you are happily married! Why would she feel threatened?”, was their response.
“For me it’s the ordinary, everyday kind of love that grabs me, rather than the big, planned events.”
“I love it when he gives me amazing cuddles and massages (without necessarily expecting a happy ending:-)”
“He spoils me by simply taking care of me”,
DeeMuchiri 