When was the last time you spoilt your wife rotten? Did you spoil her more when you were dating or courting her than you are now? Who says the pursuing has to stop? Who says the fire has to dwindle – kids or no kids? I believe marriage can continue to be as exciting as dating was if we want it to be! We just have to go the extra mile and it can be absolutely rewarding! If you continuously make your woman feel extra special and loved, she will go out of her way to do the same too! And it doesn’t always have to be big things. Even the little things count.
I reached out to hundreds of married ladies (young and old, with kids and without) asking them: “What does your hubby do to make you feel spoilt rotten or what could he do to make you feel spoilt rotten?” I received an overwhelming number of responses and below is Series 1 of the collective wisdom I received comprising of direct quotes from them concluding with my thoughts.
1. Taking her out on dates/romantic evenings at home
- I love going out to talk, eat, dance or have a drink. It doesn’t have to be anywhere expensive. It could even be at a ‘kibanda’. I just like the time alone dating, talking, laughing, dancing and catching up after busy weeks/days of not really spending time – little things to build our friendship, or ignite the romance, to remind me that he loves me, appreciates all that I do and thinks about me. It’s also good to hear how his day was, and have him truly bare his heart and deepest thoughts.
- He’s very deliberate about date nights and will create time for me. I know we both get very busy at times but he forces us to shut life out and enjoy some quality time.
- We do dinner date (just the 2 of us) every week and he has taken it upon himself to make sure that we always go unless special circumstances crop up.
- Now with the baby, hubby was saying we shall be going with him till he’s about 3-4 months old, after which I should have started expressing breast milk so that I can leave him at home.
- We started off with date night every week but now with 3 kids under 5, it’s not feasible to have it every week but he still tries to make sure that we do have some alone time.
- Our date nights are wonderful! We however only manage to do them monthly.
- He somehow usually has a monthly surprise to rejuvenate and spark the sizzle.
- I also love that he calls me every now and then for an impromptu date without me having to keep asking for it – whether it’s a picnic, surprise romantic dinner, breakfast date, a nice lunch at a fancy restaurant or a frequent or spontaneous movie night just to keep that fire burning.
- Hubby is into creating moments/experiences. He goes out to find new restaurants that have opened and then surprises me.
- Being a foodie, I love good food and feel awesome and spoilt when hubby takes me to a good restaurant I have been dying to go to especially new ones!
- He treats me like a queen when we are out for a date. He can’t allow me to drive to our venue. He would either pick me or send a cab.
- During our date nights, he opens the car door for me and believe me, it makes me feel like a million bucks!
- There are also nights I’ve come home to a themed bedroom – with petals on the bedroom floor and my favourite drink and hot bath tub waiting for me. I have never forgotten those nights😊!
With the busy schedule of life, I wish couples would still ‘date’ more and have more fun together, without the babies.
2. Taking her on getaways (just the two of you)
- For me it’s the out of town travels and holidays that tickle my fancy. I just love the ‘us’ time far from the ‘world’ i.e. being taken somewhere nice (without the baby/kids🙈).
- I would love it if he would take charge and plan spontaneous travels locally (even if it’s just a weekend) or outside the country.
- I enjoy long out of town drives and wouldn’t mind more of them e.g. for our 1-year wedding anniversary, he planned a lunch in Naivasha (Kenya)! Wow! I loved the thought and the planning and it was an awesome day out just the 2 of us.
- For our 4th anniversary, he planned a surprise weekend getaway trip to Pretoria at a really elegant private hotel that houses 1 of the top 10 restaurants in the South Africa (Restaurant Mosaic). The 9 course dinner as well as the multi-course breakfast was certainly the best fine dining we’ve ever had.
- Once he had a surprise party for my birthday and then for the after party he whisked me away to St. Petersburg (Russia), a place I had always wanted to visit.
- He has booked birthday treats for me in the leading hotels of the world – The Palace of the Lost City in Sun City & Fancourt in George (South Africa).
- Sometimes he will make planned holidays extra special by booking a room with extras to suit my tastes e.g. jacuzzi and private pool.
- Unlike him, I don’t get to travel abroad for work, so when a chance presented itself (*read first born was old enough to be left behind*) he took me along with him for a week-long work trip where I got to relax and shop shop shop! That did make me feel spoilt 🙂
- Hubby once sent me a return to ticket on mail asking me to join him in another country that he was working in. That made me red for a long time.
- He also includes me in planning his trips and what makes feel special is how conscious he is of the fact that he doesn’t want to be gone for very long and if he can’t help it, he invites me to travel with him.
It may all sound like it is about money, but it really is about the thoughtfulness in the gestures because staying at home on the long weekends is just as great as the impromptu holidays!
My thoughts:
Date your mate like you did before she said “I do”. Go on a date once a week or at least once in 2 weeks – it doesn’t have to expensive. Plan your date a week in advance – that way you get to give some more thought into it and have something to look forward to. Once in a while, you can make it special. Tell her what time you’ll be picking her up so that she can have ample time to get ready and perhaps wear one of those dresses she’s been setting aside for a special occasion
😉. Planning creates anticipation – it gives you something to look forward to.
Also surprise her with a romantic getaway at least once or twice a year. Again, it doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive if you can’t afford it yet. It could even be a road trip 1 hour away. Decide to save a certain amount every month that goes towards your holiday kitty and explore together!
I hope this has given you an idea or 2 on how you can reignite the fire in your marriage. I will be sharing a number of series’ over the next couple of weeks. Why not discuss them with your lovely lady during one of your date nights or during one of the evenings when you are snuggled in bed and hear what she has to say? Or better still, why not experiment on some of them and see what her reaction will be?
Until then,
Watch out for Series 2 and continue spoiling your wife rotten!
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You may also like my other posts on marriage:
– Am I Spoiling My Husband Rotten?
– 7 Steps to Restoring Broken Relationships
– Are You Struggling to Forgive Him or Her?
– Are you Investing in Your Marriage?
– Are You Choosing To Be Happy As Opposed To Be Right All The Time In Your Marriage?
– The Important Daily 10 Second Kiss in Marriage
– Invaluable Benefits of Knowing, Understanding & Communicating Your Spouse’s Love Language
– Recreational Companionship – The 2nd Most Important Need For a Man
– Take Time to Touch (If Only for a Minute) Once a Day
– 19 Invaluable Nourishment(s) For Your Marriage
Or my following posts on life:
– Is Failing to Plan in Detail, Planning to Fail?
– Climbing Kilimanjaro (Part 2 of 2: The Tips)
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro – (Part 1 of 2: The Experience)
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
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– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1
For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.
You can also pop into the “DeeLicious Gourmet by Dee” section for a glimpse of some of the yummy but healthy dishes I have prepared while “cooking up a storm” in my kitchen (together with the recipes):
– Breakfasts
– Starters
– Main Courses
– Salads
– Eggless, Wheat-Free Desserts
– Snacks
Thank you!
Dee
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