A Podcast Worth Listening To

One of the things I love listening to is podcasts. The other day I was listening to an episode of the podcast: On Purpose with Jay Shetty titled 3 Step System Effective People Use To Start the Year Strong where Jay suggests 3 ways to deliberately reset our mindset to start 2021 off right. Below are snippets of what I took away:

1.Mindset: Gratitude
Kick off 2021 with a new new gratitude practice. Every day for a week each morning when you get up, spend 3 minutes to deeply reflect or dive into one beautiful or meaningful thing someone has done for you in your life. And tell them! Send it to them as a text message, voice mail or video message. Express it! If you set your mindset for gratitude and connection in that way, those will be things you will feel more in 2021 because you will rewire your brain to look out for and emphasize those things when they happen.

2. Mechanical:
Pick 1 person from your personal life, one person from your professional life and one person from your family life and ask them the following questions:
– Tell me a time when you thought I was at my best.
– When was the time when you saw me really perform?
– What was one of my qualities that you wish I could work on and develop?
– What am I doing right?

3. Map:
Pick a mentor – someone who embodies the qualities you are looking to grow this year. You don’t even have to know your mentor. They don’t even have to be alive. Read their work, watch videos of them speaking, read about their lives, inspiring quotes from them, get a picture of them etc. If it’s someone you know, ask them.

What great suggestions these are to start fresh by building out our intentions for the year!

For the last couple of years I’ve been cultivating a regular habit of writing down 3 things I am grateful for and one positive experience I had over the past 24 hours. I have certainly come to appreciate the importance of gratitude as I highlighted in my 2 blogposts below:
– What Do You Do in The 1st 30 Minutes After Waking Up?
– Are You Counting Your Blessings?
However, I like Jay’s suggestion of reflecting on one beautiful or meaningful thing someone has done for you in your life and telling them about it. I have implemented it since the 2nd week of Jan 2021 and I am enjoying it so far.

I am also big on reading books and listening to podcasts which has granted me access to mentors far and wide. Every now and then, I yearn for more traditional physical mentor(s) as well – the ones you can meet with or speak to. However this podcast reminded me it’s ok to have mentors of a different kind, whether dead or alive, near or far.

Lastly, what better way to improve yourself than to work on your strengths! I better reach out to those 3 people. I have picked out 2 so far. It’s time to narrow down on my 3rd one.

I look forward to incorporating these suggestions in my life and seeing what impact they’ll have. Has any of these suggestions resonated with you? Pick one, two or all three and test them out in a bid to reset your mindset for the year ahead.

Until next time,
Happy Investing in Yourself!

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For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

You can also pop into the “DeeLicious Gourmet by Dee” section for a glimpse of some of the yummy but healthy dishes I have prepared while “cooking up a storm” in my kitchen (together with the recipes):
– Breakfasts
– Starters
– Main Courses
– Salads
– Eggless, Wheat-Free Desserts
– Snacks

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Counting Your Blessings?

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One thing I have to come to appreciate in life is the importance of celebrating your wins no matter how small they are. A few years ago, I started the habit of writing down in my journal (a) 3 things I am grateful for each day and (b) 1 positive experience I had over the past 24 hours. To honest, I haven’t been able to keep up with this habit on a daily basis – however this is something I have striven to do on a regular basis. There are days I have known exactly what I was going write even before thinking about it and there are others when I have picked up my pen and journal and wondered whether there was anything to write home about – however more often than not, I have found that when I dig deep, I am able to come up with more than 3 things I am grateful for that day and sometimes more than 1 positive experience.

The great thing about this habit is that it keeps you grateful and brings about happiness. You get to look back at the many wonderful things you have to thank God for and realize what a faithful God you serve. When you count your little blessings on a day to day basis despite your current circumstances, you have no room to complain. Yes, some things may not be going the way you wanted – however you have a couple of things to be thankful for.

The other thing I have come to appreciate is the importance of capturing your moments through photos or videos or drawings. One of my favourite past times is going through old and current photos/videos/drawings. I absolutely love it! I almost get to re-live the moments again. It brings a smile to my face and makes me appreciate many things. When I’m old and grey, I still want to be able to look back at all the moments I captured.

Let’s not waste our limited time here on earth sulking or complaining about what’s not working out. Let’s savour the wonderful moments, count our blessings and be grateful for them!

So, when you get a flat tyre, whistle away while changing the tyre and thank God that you have a tyre to change! When you have to walk long distances, thank God that you have legs to walk! Dig deep and you will find something. You will be amazed by how gratitude brings about joy!

Until next time,
Count your blessings!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Photo credits: Shizphotography

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Choosing To Be Happy As Opposed To Be Right All The Time In Your Marriage?

How many times have you been mad at or angry at your spouse over the tiniest of things? How many times have you given them the silent treatment or the cold shoulder over something so insignificant that you can’t even remember what it was when you look back a few months/years later? Or when you remember, you realize how silly it was? How many hours/years of your marriage have you wasted arguing with your spouse over things that don’t matter just because you wanted to prove you were right and they were wrong? Were those moments that stole your joy and/or your spouse’s joy really worth it? If you were on your death bed today, would you wish that you had chosen to be happy as opposed to be right if you were given the chance do things over?

Well, that’s what Ric Elias realized as he was seated on a front-row seat on Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009. He lived to survive it and in his compelling 5 minute Ted Talk titled “3 things I learned while my plane crashed“, he narrates what went through his mind as the doomed plane went down. He thought about all the fences he wanted to mend – he regretted the time he wasted in things that did not matter with people that matter (sometimes due to ego). He thought about his relationship with his wife and after his reflection, he decided to eliminate negative energy in his life. He’d not had a fight with his wife in 2 years (after the plane crash) and it felt great! He made the decision to no longer try to be right – he chooses to be happy!

Are you choosing to be happy as opposed to be right all the time in your marriage? Life is too short to waste on things that do not matter. Don’t let small things get to you. One of the top 5 regrets of the dying recorded by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives is “I wish I had let myself be happier.” Don’t let that be one of your regrets. Relish the moments you have with your spouse! Have fun together, laugh some more, put on some music and dance, plan and go for date nights and getaways, dress up, spice things up and just enjoy each other! Strive to fill your marriage with positive energy at all times. Remember: happiness is a choice!

Until next time,
Choose to be happy!
May God bless your marriage.

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or the following:
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
– Really? Must We Give and Tithe? – Series 1
– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Photo credits: Shizphotography

Dee

An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1

Ted Talk.jpg

What do you do when you are getting ready for work? Well, I casually started a habit that invigorates me! For 10-15 minutes, as I am getting ready, I am transported to a different part of the world where I get to listen to great insights from someone smart – someone I will probably never meet in person – but whose insights will sharpen me or teach me something new. What am I talking about? TEDTalks!

TEDTalks are daily video podcasts of some of the best, short, powerful talks where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes or less. The talks cover almost all topics in more than 100 languages. Some of them are extremely hilarious and completely light up my morning. They are freely available on You Tube and below is a summary of 5 TEDTalks, all of which taught me something invaluable:

1. Why do ambitious women have flat heads? | Dame Stephanie Shirley
Dame Stephanie Shirley is the most successful tech entrepreneur you never heard of. In the 1960s, she founded a pioneering all-woman software company in the UK, which was ultimately valued at $3 billion, making millionaires of 70 of her team members. In this frank and often hilarious talk, she explains why she went by “Steve,” how she upended the expectations of the time, and shares some sure-fire ways to identify ambitious women.

She shares 2 secrets of success which stuck with me:

i) Surround yourself with first class people and people that you like
ii) Choose your partner very very carefully

2. How to become a millionaire in 3 years | Daniel Ally
Daniel Ally talks about 3 key principles (summarized by the acronym”BIG“) used by the most successful people who have ever lived. This valuable session offers the solutions that you’ll need to be successful for the rest of your life, whether you want to be a millionaire or not.

B – Read more Books. If you want to learn about money, read books that talk about money; If you want to learn how to manage relationships or become a better communicator, there are many books on that. Most people in the world read 1 book every single year – Facebook! If you study miscellaneous things, you will get miscellaneous results. You become what you study! You say you don’t have time to read? If you read 10 minutes a day for 30 straight days, that’s 1 book a month. 1 book a month in 12 months is 12 books a year – You can do in 1 year what most people do in 5 years.
Remember: Leaders are readers. If you want to succeed, you have to read.
I – Get around the best Individuals you can. We are the sum total of the 5 people we surround ourselves with the most. Are your leaders taking you to the place you want to be? You need people who are inspiring – people that can help you and lift you up to the goals that transcend your own possibility and thinking – people that are smarter than you – people who have gone further than you and know exactly what you need to do to get to the next level. How do you find these people? If you read more books, you’ll find an “about the author” section at the back of the book. Reach out to the authors. Thankfully we live in a new millennium which allows us to get onto their social media and websites and have a conversation with them. We can change by actually understanding what they teach. And if we ask enough questions, we can make great progress in our life.
Remember: The people you are looking for are also looking for you. So get yourself around those people.
G – Set higher Goals. Goals make you stretch and help you to become more of who you are. The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is: a person tries to do too much too fast. The problem with Bucket Lists is: one gives themselves too much time – there’s no urgency. Write your goals down so that you can hold this steadfastly to who you are. Create a plan of action to achieve your goals. Select 1 overarching goal that you would like to accomplish and list 20 ideas that correspond to that particular goal. Imagine if you did this in every area of of your life – financially, for promotions, for your family etc and you wrote your goals down everyday – you would be able to accomplish many things in your life!
Remember: A dull pencil is better than a sharp mind.

3. The happy secret to better work | Shawn Achor
We believe that we should work to be happy, but could that be backwards? In this fast-moving and entertaining talk, psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.

Most companies and schools follow this formula of success: “If I work harder, I’ll be more successful; and if I’m more successful, then I’ll be happier”. The problem is, it’s scientifically broken and backwards. Every time your brain has a success, you just change the goalpost of what success looks like. If you got good grades, now you have to get better grades; if you got into a good school, now you have to get into a better school; if you got a better job, now you have to get a better job; if you hit your sales target, now you have to change your sales target. If happiness is on the opposite side of success, your brain never gets there!

We need to reverse this formula because our brains perform significantly better at positive than at negative, neutral or stressed! This is referred to as the Happiness Advantage. If we can find a way of becoming more positive in the present, then our brains can work even more successfully. Here are 5 ways you can train your brain to become more positive (in just a 2 min span of time done for 21 days in a row) allowing your brain to work more optimistically and more successfully:

i) 3 Gratitudes: Write down 3 new new things you are grateful for each day for 21 days in a row
ii) Journaling: Journal about 1 positive experience you’ve had over the past 24 hours – this allows your brain to relive it
iii) Exercise: This teaches your brain that your behaviour matters
iv) Meditation: This allows your brain to get over the cultural ADHD that we’ve been creating by trying to do multiple tasks at once – it allows our brain to focus on the task at hand
v) Random/conscious acts of kindness: Write 1 positive email praising or thanking somebody in your social support network

4. 10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee
In this insightful talk, Celeste Headlee shares 10 useful rules/ingredients for having better conversations:

i) Don’t multitask – be present – be in that moment – don’t be half in it
ii) Don’t pontificate – you need enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t – everybody is an expert in something
iii) Use open ended questions – start your questions with who, where, how and why e.g. what was that like? how did that feel?- then you’ll get much more interesting responses
iv) Go with the flow – that means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind – don’t stick to the script if it doesn’t flow
v) If you don’t know, say that you don’t know – err on the side of caution
vi) Don’t equate your experience with theirs – if they are talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member; if they are talking about the trouble they are having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job – it is not the same – it is never the same – all experiences are individual. More importantly, it is not about you! You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity
vii) Try not to repeat yourself – it is condescending and really boring. If you have a point to make, don’t keep rephrasing it over and over
viii) Stay out of the weeds – frankly, people don’t care about the years, names, dates and details you are struggling to come up with in your mind. What they care about is you, what you are like, what you have in common – so forget the details
ix) Listen – this is the most important one. If your mouth is open, you are not learning. Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand – we listen with the intent to reply
x) Be brief – a good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject

All this boils down to this: Be interested in other people! Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed!

5. Why I read a book a day (and why you should too): the law of 33% | Tai Topez
In this talk, Tai Topez reminds us that everyone wants the good life, but not everyone gets the good life because not everyone is willing to do what it takes.

Imagine for a second how much more successful you would be if you just started a company 50:50 with Bill Gates as your business partner and he was using every trick of the trade that he used to build Microsoft into one of the biggest companies in the word. Imagine how much more money you would have in your bank account if Warren Buffet was teaching you how to invest in the stock market. Imagine how fit you would be if Arnold Schwarzenegger was your personal trainer showing you how he built his body into one of the most fit bodies. Imagine the change you would be making in the word if Mother Teresa and you were running a charity together and she was showing you what she learnt on the streets of Calcutta helping the poor, the sick and the dying. Mentors have the power to do this in your life. Mentors are more powerful than you can imagine in their ability to transform your life. Your ability to copy mentors is the biggest predictor of the success you’ll have in your life. Did you know Albert Einstein had a mentor? Every Thursday, he would have lunch with him growing up; Oprah Winfrey said she had 2 mentors; Alexander the Great had Aristotle; Bill Gates had Paul Allen; Warren Buffet had Benjamin Graham.

Here are a few things you can do:
i) You should spend 33% of your time around people lower than you – you can mentor them and help them
ii) Have 33% of people at your level– these become your friends or peers
iii) The last 33% are what most people forget about – these are people 10/2o years ahead of you. They’ll make you feel a little bit uncomfortable but that’s what you want. Don’t make the mistake of finding somebody just a little bit better than you. Find somebody 10 times further ahead than you. Don’t be afraid to go to the top! You can get people like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. You’ll be surprised
iv) Humility: You have to be humble
v) Perseverance: You must persevere
vi) Read more: You should see books as hidden treasures. Some of the great mentors are no longer alive. They can however be in your library! Stop seeing a book as a one time event. See it like a friend – read it over and over and just like friends, pick a handful of them. Find 150 books that you can read over and over for the rest of your life. There is no rule about how fast you have to read them. Set your own pace. Sometimes books have just 1 or 2 things that are worth reading. You should try to read at least 1 book a week. There is always someone to learn from. Read more. You will never find all the answers from just one person.

Did you learn a thing or two like me from these 5 TEDTalks? In a world where internet is becoming cheaper, faster and more reliable – even in third world countries – why not take the time to listen to a TEDTalk while you are getting ready for work? It doesn’t have to be every day – even once a week is fine! If you have time to go through Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Whatsapp, then you have time to watch TEDTalks. There are thousands and thousands of topics out there freely available for you and I to tap on to! Give it a try!

Watch out for Series 2 where I highlight other TEDTalks I have really enjoyed.

Until next time,
Happy TEDTalk Listening!:-)
Dee

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on marriage:
–Invaluable Benefits of Knowing, Understanding & Communicating Your Spouse’s Love Language
– Recreational Companionship – The 2nd Most Important Need For a Man
– Take Time to Touch (If Only for a Minute) Once a Day
– 19 Invaluable Nourishment(s) For Your Marriage

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

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