Free Marriage Resources Worth Checking Out

I believe in constantly equipping myself…whether it’s in life, marriage, parenting, self development or work, you name it! I never want to get to the point where I feel like I have “arrived”. No. There’s always room to grow, room to learn something new.

So I am always intentional about reading books or listening to audio books or podcasts. I make the time for them and invest in them despite my busy schedule. Today, as I celebrate my 9th wedding anniversary, I read the book “100 Ways to Love Your Husband: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Loving Marriage” by Lisa Jacobson from beginning to end. It took me 1 hour exactly during my morning “victory hour” that I usually carve out for myself to read, journal, reflect, do my devotion, plan for the day etc.

This is one of the books I got for $1 each (though it costs more than that) on the Focus on the Family: Marriage website where they have this thing where they give you a book for free if you make a donation of any amount. So for $1 each, I got 5 books on marriage! They deliver for free in the U.S. so I had a friend who was coming this side to bring them over to me. Wow! What rich content and amazing reminders it had. It was a very simple, quick and enjoyable read and I look forward to implementing some of the nuggets in my marriage. I highly recommend it. There’s also a version for the husbands titled “100 Ways to Love Your Wife: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Loving Marriage” written by the author’s husband, Matt Jacobson. I look forward to reading the remainder of the books I got as I work towards my target of reading 24 books touching on different subjects by the end of this year. I’m on my 17th book.

Feel free to pop onto the Focus on the Family: Marriage website to see the many free resources they have ranging from books, articles, videos, etc. Also sign up for the Focus on the Family: Marriage Podcast, one of the podcasts I listen to each week! Hubby also listens to it.

Until next time,
Happy Intentionally Investing in Yourself and Your Marriage!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on life:
– An Invaluable Resource Worth Checking Out – Part 1
– A Podcast Worth Listening To
– Chief’s 5 Favourite Books in 2020
– Have You Set Your Goals? 2nd Book Worth Reading in 2021
– A Book Worth Reading and Listening to in 2021
– Reflection of My 2020 Goals
– How I Lost Inches In 6 Weeks – Part 1
– Reflection of My 2019 Goals
– Chief’s 5 Favourite Books in 2019
– Chief’s 7 Favourite Books in 2016-2018
– Did You Achieve Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2018 Goals
– What Do You Do in The 1st 30 Minutes After Waking Up?
– Are You Counting Your Blessings?
– My 4 Favourite Books in 2017
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Is Failing to Plan in Detail, Planning to Fail?
– Climbing Kilimanjaro (Part 2 of 2: The Tips)
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro – (Part 1 of 2: The Experience)
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
– Really? Must We Give and Tithe? – Series 1
– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1–

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

You can also pop into the “DeeLicious Gourmet by Dee” section for a glimpse of some of the yummy but healthy dishes I have prepared while “cooking up a storm” in my kitchen (together with the recipes):
– Breakfasts
– Starters
– Main Courses
– Salads
– Eggless, Wheat-Free Desserts
– Snacks

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Letting Your Guard Down in Your Marriage? – Series 1 (Boundaries)

Are You Letting Your Guard Down in Your Marriage1 The other day when I was standing in line to get into the bathroom, I overheard a conversation by some ladies that were standing next to me. It turns out one of the ladies had been running every morning with one of her male colleagues but the guy hadn’t told his wife about it. Apparently, the guy’s wife somehow found out about it and was furious! So this lady was complaining to the rest of the ladies that she couldn’t believe the guy hadn’t told his wife that he was running with her. The other ladies however couldn’t understand why this guy’s wife was furious to begin with. “If he was running with the rest of us who are single, then I would understand; but you are happily married! Why would she feel threatened?”, was their response.

Well, one of the dangers in any marriage is allowing oneself to spend too much time with someone of the opposite sex. It doesn’t matter whether they are married or not, or how genuine your intentions are or how much of a Christian you are or how great your spouse is! When you let your guard down thinking nothing can ever happen and you allow yourself to repeatedly have a good time with someone of the opposite sex (other than your spouse), feelings are bound to develop. That is human nature and no one is immune! And the people who succumb the most are those who let their guard down thinking that can never happen to them. That’s why it’s important to always set clear boundaries in your marriage.

And don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying you can’t work with someone of the opposite sex. I actually work in an industry where I’ve found myself to be the only female in the investment team for years. What I’m talking about is different. I’m talking about doing recreational companionship with or constantly hanging out with someone of the opposite sex when it has nothing to do with work.

The book His Needs Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr. expounds on this very well.

“If someone else of the opposite sex joins either of you in your favourite recreational activities, you are at risk to fall in love with that person. Think about it for a moment in terms of the Love Bank. How much do you enjoy these activities, and how many love units would your spouse be depositing whenever you enjoyed them together? What a waste it would be if someone else got credit for all those love units. And if it were someone of the opposite sex, it would be downright dangerous. Who should get credit for all those love units? The one you should love the most, your spouse. That’s precisely why I encourage couples to be each other’s favourite recreational companions. It’s one of the simplest ways to deposit love units.”

It’s therefore best to do what you enjoy the most with your spouse. However, if it’s not possible, have clear boundaries. For instance:

Whenever I go hiking, I hike with my gals. I don’t hike with guys.
Whenever a guy asks to meet up for coffee/lunch/dinner (and it’s not work or mentor related), I always tag hubby along.

You may call this restrictive, but I call it guarding my marriage! Nobody who genuinely loves their spouse ever intends to cheat on them. Most of them say “It just happened!” Drifting in marriage doesn’t normally happen by a conscious choice – it happens unknowingly when one lets their guard down! Don’t destroy your marriage simply because you think you are immune!

Watch out for Series 2 on how else to protect your marriage and not to let your guard down.

Until next time,
Happy guarding your marriage and setting clear boundaries!
Remember: Great marriages don’t just happen – they are intentionally worked on!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on life:
– What Do You Do in The 1st 30 Minutes After Waking Up?
– Are You Counting Your Blessings?
– My 4 Favourite Books in 2017
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Is Failing to Plan in Detail, Planning to Fail?
– Climbing Kilimanjaro (Part 2 of 2: The Tips)
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro – (Part 1 of 2: The Experience)
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
– Really? Must We Give and Tithe? – Series 1
– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Photo credits: Shizphotography

Thank you!
Dee

When Was The Last Time You Sent Your Loved One a Silly/Loving Audio/Video of Yourself?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SENT YOUR LOVED ONE AN AUDIO OR VIDEO OF YOURSELF THAT LIFTED THEIR SPIRITS

Early on in our marriage, whenever Chief or I would travel for work, he used to send me hilarious videos of himself and I loved each one of them! It could be him imitating me (oh! – he is the king of imitation) or him just being silly. During those few days of being apart (you would think it was a year), I would find myself playing those videos over and over again and smiling or giggling to myself. You know those times when you go to the loo and pull out your phone to keep yourself busy (even when it’s a short one)? I used to live for those moments! I would watch those videos and giggle away in the bathroom! “What a weirdo” you might be thinking, but oh! – they were an absolute treat! Many months later (even after he or I was back), I would still find myself scrolling through my phone to watch those videos again. Each time I watched them, I re-lived those moments.

It’s been a while since he sent me one of those videos and this morning after he had left for work, he sent me an audio of himself. Mind you, none of us had travelled. You see, I was mad at him (yes, we are human and I do get mad at him sometimes:-)) and when he sent me that audio, it lifted my spirits! I laughed out loud! You know those times when you are mad at someone and they do or say something hilarious and you pretend not to want to laugh but you just can’t contain it? Luckily he wasn’t there, so I laughed myself silly! What a pleasant surprise it was! And he didn’t even utter a word. He just made some noises which only I can understand (and no it’s not what you are thinking:-)). Small thoughtful gestures such as those go the extra mile.

That got me thinking, how awesome would it be if you sent your loved one an audio or video of yourself? You could say something sweet or funny or make a sound or imitation only you two understand. It doesn’t have to be long. It could even be just 3 seconds. But those 3 seconds can mean the world to your loved one and leave them with an indelible record they can keep playing over and over again (not just on their phone but in their mind). Try it and see your loved one’s reaction! It might be just what you need to rekindle the embers and bring back the excitement. And don’t do it just once or wait until they/you have travelled or when it’s a special occasion or when they are mad at you. Make it a habit of doing it as often as you can. Nothing can ever replace the indelible value of cherished communication with a loved one!

Until next time,
Happy audio/video sending!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on life:
– Have You Written Down Your 2018 Goals? – Reflection of My 2017 Goals
– Is Failing to Plan in Detail, Planning to Fail?
– Climbing Kilimanjaro (Part 2 of 2: The Tips)
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro – (Part 1 of 2: The Experience)
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
– Really? Must We Give and Tithe? – Series 1
– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Photo credits: Shizphotography

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 9 (Financial Leadership & Inclusivity)

“I love that he provides financial leadership and we make key decisions jointly – power couple in the making!”

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

19. Providing leadership over the home finances

I absolutely love his leadership over our home finances. He plans our resources to the last shilling. He is keen for us as a family to be faithful stewards of our finances.
He is my Finance Manager; he teaches me how, where and when to invest what.
Given that I am not very good with money i.e. I’m a spender, I love that he has put me on a financial plan. So now my money goes wherever it needs to go and he leaves me with a lot to spend which I finish and then he adds 🙈. Never mind he leaves himself less than me.
He is super responsible and makes sure that at the end of every month, he has done shopping for the entire month.
I love that he is financially stable so I don’t have to feel burdened and strained trying to support the family.

20. Involving her in decisions or working together as one

I love that he consults me in financial and investments decisions, career choices, major family decisions, decisions relating to our children etc. and that we fight the same battles instead of fighting each other. This entails maintaining one budget with full disclosure of income and expenses, seeking advice on key decisions, jointly identifying the problem, and working together to identify possible solutions.
I also feel useful that he’s now started running any ideas he has with me before embarking on them (this is after getting burnt a few times and me having to bite my cheeks to avoid saying ‘I told u so’ 😕!)

My thoughts:
It doesn’t matter how much money she earns – most women love responsible men! They love financial security – this doesn’t mean you have to be a millionaire. They love disclosure – doing things jointly. In as much as you may be the key provider or the one that provides financial leadership over your joint finances, include her in the decisions you make. You have an asset by your side. Tap into her thoughts and instincts – after all she’s your partner in life and there is some solid truth behind the statement, “behind every successful man, is a woman!”

Watch out for Series 10. Until then, continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Or my following posts on life:
– Is Failing to Plan in Detail, Planning to Fail?
– Climbing Kilimanjaro (Part 2 of 2: The Tips)
– 22 Great Books I Read in 2016
– Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro – (Part 1 of 2: The Experience)
– Why Writing Down Your Goals is Important – Reflection of Our 2016 Goals
– An Invaluable Habit I Have Acquired That Takes Only a Few Minutes A Day – Series 1
– 3 Reasons Why Saving a Large Chunk of Cash in Your Bank Account is Not a Great Idea
– Really? Must We Give and Tithe? – Series 1
– Why I am training myself to eat my frog everyday!!!
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments For Your Time – Series 1
– Chief’s 1o Favourite Books in 2015
– Dee’s 2015 In Review
– 5 Invaluable Nourishments for Your Health – Series 1

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 8 (Support & Listening Ear)

“I want romance, for sure. But more than that, I want respect, partnership and the freedom to be all God put me on this earth to be. And that’s more than a wife!”

Welcome to Series 8 of this journey. If you missed Series 1 – 7, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 5 (Sorting All Things Cars/Manly & Pocket Money)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 6 (Cuddles & Massages)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 7 (Caring & Praying)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

16. Supporting/encouraging her

I love that he supports my dreams and passions.
He lets me be me. He listens to all my crazy ideas and supports them in any way he can. He is always there when l need him to be. He never complains or moans that l’m out and about, doing this or the other. He is always there if l need him to watch the kids. He never complains or asks for an account of how l spent money. I will go out and shop, or inform him that l want to do XYZ and he’s ok with it. He is always open to trying out stuff that l suggest and tells me to come up with the plan of what we should do, where we should go or what to buy etc.
He always encourages me to apply for the ‘tough’ consultancies and supports me as I work on them. When I get offers, he celebrates even when I out-earn him.
I love to create things with my hands e.g. colourful DIY projects, stuff I can use around the house or cards to give out as well as journals. Some of the best moments are when he takes time to create these things with me or when he buys the stuff I need to put these things together. But recently he did something better; he visited friends who have a wood work shop at their home, took the time to learn how to make a few things and made this amazing wood plank with our names on it that we can hang up in the house! This has to be one of the best gifts ever, because he did it with his hands. I absolutely love it!
I feel blessed when I call him when having a really tough day at the office and he tells me he’s going to go on his knees and pray for me.
Being a nurse is the most draining career (or so I think) and my husband has been my number ONE supporter. He waits for me even past midnight on a bad shift and hugs my work-stress away. He calls to check on me at work and gives me a lot of reassurance. On a crazy day, he prays with me over the phone. Nothing beats that!
He defends me, gives me good advice, and is patient with me.
I also love how he encourages me in God’s service (I’m part of the children’s church, worship team and life group). He even knows my rehearsals day for worship.

17. Giving her a listening ear/genuine interest in her life

I always know that I count on him to listen to me, especially when I’m feeling low, and just need to talk to someone – even when I wake him up in the middle of the night!
When I am down he really consoles and encourages me.
He attentively listens when I rant about things. And knows when I want a solution or when I just need an ear.
My husband has stories from here to infinity – he always has some new insights that he’s read or experienced during the day to share – which I love. However, better than that is when he stops and just listens to my heart.
I love it when he listens to my 20,000 words and engages with me on various topics.
Or shows genuine interest in my life.
Or asks about my day and listens attentively.

18. Reaching out to her family

I love it when he takes time to be in touch with or bond with my family and grow his own relationship with them e.g. calls them, sends them airtime, visits and shops for my parents, send my mum upkeep money at end month without letting me know etc. By extension it means he thought about me. He knows that my mum is special to me and the fact that he extends the love to her just fulfils me.
I also love it that he loves my child like his own totally.

My thoughts:
Whatever her dreams are, support her. Be her number 1 fan and cheerleader! Allow her to be all God created her to be. She is unique and a master piece of art. On some days, all she’ll want to do is pour out what’s bothering her without wanting a solution from you – give her that listening ear. On other days, she’ll want your advice or solution – have her back! Knowing she can always count on you to support her means eternity! What more can a woman ask for than knowing her man is her ride or die person?

Watch out for Series 9! Until then continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 7 (Caring & Praying)

“For me it’s the ordinary, everyday kind of love that grabs me, rather than the big, planned events.” N.O-79

Welcome to Series 7 of this journey. If you missed Series 1 – 6, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 5 (Sorting All Things Cars/Manly & Pocket Money)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 6 (Cuddles & Massages)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

13. Picking and dropping her

The one thing that he does that makes me feel like royalty is that he drops me to work and picks me up every day to give me company unless he is out of town (and it’s not a short distance). Sometimes he will do this even for social visits, such as when I go to visit mum or my friends. I don’t like driving myself – it can get tiring, so I’m overjoyed when he does it; but sometimes I take it for granted. It’s really selflessly him.
I love the days he goes out of his way to drop me to work and pick me up, or even show up over lunch hour at work. Bless him.
On days when he’s working from home, I love it when he chooses to drop me off at work just to spend a few minutes with me.
I am a nurse and during the evenings when I do night shifts, he drops me off and picks me up, makes me breakfast and makes sure I have a good rest.
Another big thing for me was picking me up after my MBA evening classes for 2 years. I would walk from work to class because of Upper hill traffic and then he’d pick me up in the evenings.
I love how he insists on picking me up from the airport after a work trip.
Or when he offers to drive me while I run errands because I don’t like driving and he knows it.
I love that he will drop anything he is doing to drop/pick me up from places, be it work, a girl’s night out etc. so long as I’m feeling tired or I don’t feel like driving!!!- And this is even though I have my car. I usually know I can depend on him and he doesn’t complain.

14. Taking care of her when she’s unwell

The most touching thing he does for me is he brings me hot tea/coffee and a hot water bag when I’m lying down in bed in pain because of tummy cramps….without me asking for it…He stays with me and sometimes gives me a back rub. I could kiss that man for that!
I also feel cared for when he books my doctor’s appointment when I’m ill.
Or when he checks up on me during the day when I’m sick at home to see how I’m doing, whether I’m feeling better and whether there’s anything he can bring me etc.
There’s not one doctor’s appointment that my hubby hasn’t taken me to. It feels great to have support from your better half – truly in sickness and in health!

15. Praying with and for her

Praying for me and with me always makes me feel very loved and cared for. He prays for me as if he was trusting God for himself.
He is my prayer partner. I say The Grace, he says Amen.
When I couldn’t go for Bible Study Fellowship after we got our baby, he always brought me the material to read.
He prays with our children.
I love His relationship with God and that he listens to what God tells him even when it’s not the answer we were hoping for and he will be committed to stick to God’s direction no matter what.
He is the Priest of our home: praying for us and reminding us the promises of God.

Parting shot:
My advice to a man would be: be there for her in those days when she needs a love mate the most….without being asked. If a man can sense what a woman needs in their trying times and then chooses to be a nurse/shoulder/counsellor/pastor/roomie/friend according to the situation, that is one of the best thing to make a woman feel loved and secure!

Watch out for Series 8! Until then, continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 6 (Cuddles & Massages)

“I love it when he gives me amazing cuddles and massages (without necessarily expecting a happy ending:-)”

Said the wives. Let’s continue with Series 6 of this journey of spoiling your wife rotten. If you missed Series 1 – 5, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 5 (Sorting All Things Cars/Manly & Pocket Money)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

11.Giving her cuddles (without necessarily expecting “a happy ending”)

I feel special when he gives me a warm hug and holds me (non-sexually) or when he kisses my forehead.
My husband is a morning person. I am not. But instead of being upset about it, he gets out of bed, comes round to give me the nicest cuddle and kiss before he’s on his way. I can think of grand things right now, but this spoils me every day!
I love cuddles and my husband gives me lots of them. He gives the best hugs and cuddles!
I absolutely like that he cuddles me as we sleep. I sleep and find myself in his arms.
Sometimes I get late into bed but he will make an effort to turn and cuddle (even if it’s just for a few minutes). I really appreciate that.

12. Giving her massages or foot rubs or day at the spa

He gives me lots of back, full body and feet massages after a long day and I love it! I also love that he just rubs my feet when we are seated on the sofa watching TV.
If there was anything a husband with kids would do is to rub the wife’s feet! Or give her a massage in bed after a long day, when the baby is asleep, instead of just falling asleep when his head hits the pillow.
A surprise drop off at a massage therapist or surprise spa voucher would also go a long way!
I love that he books me into spa to have a spa day/weekend whenever he hears me say I am stressed or after a very stressful couple of weeks at work.
I wouldn’t mind more of these e.g. monthly massage sessions with my favourite masseuse 🙂 This can also include a mani and pedi.
If budget is tight, an annual massage treat would be highly appreciated!

My thoughts:
Sometimes all she wants is a yummy cuddle with your arms and body cosily wrapped all around her. That in itself can be pure heaven! At other times, she just wants a massage – it could be a head massage, foot massage, back massage or a full body head to toe mambo yote! And that alone can be oh-so-satisfying and put her to sweet slumber! On those nights, don’t get disappointed that you laboured in vain and didn’t get the happy ending you expected for all that hard work. You see, you left her satisfied! And while you might not get your rewards on that particular day, your efforts will not go forgotten. You will reap two-fold in the future when you give without necessarily expecting in return. Who knows, you might even be lucky when she notices you were giving selflessly:-).

If you are not the best masseuse, why not surprise her with a treat at the spa whenever you can? Try it and you’ll see!

Watch out for Series 7! Until then, continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 5 (Sorting All Things Cars/Manly & Pocket Money)

“He spoils me by simply taking care of me”,

a number of the wives said (something I absolutely relate to😊). Those small acts of thoughtfulness continually sweep your woman off her feet! Let’s embark on Series 5 of this journey. If you missed Series 1 – 4, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

9. Taking care of all things manly/cars

When he fixes a tap, I’m in love! It doesn’t matter if there are chocolates and gifts all over the house given that my love language is “acts of service”. The only issue is: he takes his time before he fixes stuff.
He doesn’t allow me to do unfeminine tasks like taking the car for a wash, fixing anything in the house, paying certain bills, buying meat and such like tasks. And I love it!
He always makes sure that my car is fueled. When he travels, he fuels it before he leaves. I love the fact that I don’t have to look at the fuel gauge or deviate to go to a petrol station.
He takes full responsibility of the maintenance of my car. I don’t know when my car needs service/repair or wheel alignment or whatever; he takes whichever car and sorts it out. Or he sends the mechanic to my workplace to pick and service my car and when he doesn’t make to return it, he organises a cab for me.

10. Paying for her girly tasks/giving her pocket money

As a working woman, I can pretty comfortably afford many things. However, when he gives me cash to take care of a bill he ordinarily doesn’t have to, it makes me feel wow! I feel really good!
He always pays for my grooming. Every time I am off to the hair salon, he asks how much and gives me the cash for it. Today he treated me to a salon day – hair retouch and mani-pedi.
He got me a credit card linked to his account which I swipe whenever I go to do my nails, get a wax, have my hair done, do house shopping etc:-)
He pays all my personal bills e.g. phone bills. I love that I don’t have to worry how it’s done. All I have to say is how much. I feel really spoilt!
Whenever I travel, he gives me money for my own shopping.
I also feel special when he offers to sit up late (even though he is an early sleeper) to help me undo my braids (even those that are not twists)! That’s not ‘kukaliwa’ (being sat on) – that’s thoughtfulness that leaves me feeling wow!

My thoughts:
Whatever you can do to make your woman feel like a queen, do it! Making her feel that she can be taken care of, no matter how small, means the world to her! So, go ahead, give her some pocket money, promptly sort out the car/manly stuff she has no clue about and see her reaction.

Until then,
Watch out for Series 6 and continue spoiling your wife rotten!

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Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 4 (Calls, Texts & Quality Time)

“I have the best hubby in the world who I can boldly say loving comes so effortlessly! My love tank overflows by the little things he does!”

Said one of the wives (married for 25 years and with 2 kids). What’s your excuse? If they can be married for that long and still keep the fire burning, so can you. Let’s embark on Series 4 of this journey of making your wife feel all giddy! If you missed, Series 1, 2 & 3, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

7. Texting and calling her during the day or writing her love notes

Regardless of how busy he gets, he never forgets to send a sweet text and call at some point during the day.
He writes me the sweetest messages!
And love notes too:-)
He calls and texts to share serious things, silly things, or sometimes nothing at all.
I get random “I just called to say I love you” calls. They leave me speechless!
I love that he makes a point of always checking up on me during the day. “Did you reach the office safely in the morning? What did you have for lunch? How was that meeting?”
Others said: “I would love it if he was more affectionate with words through random calls or texts at work.”
“He’s a responsible husband and dad! I would however completely be blown away if I found a love letter under my pillow on a few occasions as that currently only happens in my dreams:-)”

8. Spending quality time together/giving her undivided attention/exclusivity

I feel extra special when he creates time to spend together.
We get to share our dreams, plans, hopes, fears and just be great friends!
He also gets to invite me into his intimate space and allows me to be his safe space.
I love it when we go for walks and play with each other.
The cherry on top of that is when he sneaks out during lunch hour on weekdays just so that we can have lunch together.
Or when he chooses to play golf early in the morning so that he’s done by lunch time so that we can have more of the weekend together.
Or when he chooses to spend time with me even if it’s just to chill in the house than a night out with the boys. Sometimes it’s extremely hard to spoil him when he decides to hang out with his boys and stay out late more than once in a while and he sees nothing wrong with that. It’s a prayer item for me – for God to bring the right friends into his life!
If he could do away with his ‘girlfriends’, it would be great! As much as he says they mean nothing to him, I usually wonder why he chooses to have them in the first place if they mean nothing. Exclusivity would make me feel really special.
Remaining faithful always and making me feel like the most special woman in his life is a big plus!
I also feel special when, once in a while, he plans the entire day just for us – not planning a few hours for us and the rest doing rounds in people’s homes:-)
I love it when he does activities with me.
Or when he agrees to accompany me to events or functions he might not have much interest in so that I’m not alone.
And however anxious he is to catch the next episode of a series we both like, he usually waits till I finish cooking so we do it together. Most importantly, he is always home early and around me on weekends for us to chat and catch up before we have to run off to do something else. I truly feel I waited for God’s best!

My thoughts:
If you are honest, you probably texted or called your woman every day when you were dating or courting her. If you are old school, you probably even wrote love letters to her and sprayed your best cologne on it. Why should that change just because you now live under the same roof? If it worked as bait in terms of catching her then, don’t you think it might also work in terms of retaining her and keeping her excited?

You’ve also probably heard this before. Love is spelt T-I-M-E. Wanting to spend time with your woman or intentionally carving out time to spend with her rather than giving her left overs of yourself speaks volumes. I’m not saying you should spend every free breathing minute of your life with her – that will suffocate her and you too! However, guarding your times with her amidst the busy schedule of your life and showing her that you enjoy her company will go a long way towards making her feel special and wanted.

Time to put your old skills back in action!

Until then,
Watch out for Series 5 and continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee

Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 3 (Special Days & Gifts)

N.O-37

“I consider myself a very spoilt wife and almost everything hubby does makes me feel very spoilt!”

This is the feedback I received from one of the wives (married for 9 years and with 2 kids). Can you say without reasonable doubt that your wife feels this way? She perhaps felt like this during the early years of your marriage. But probably not anymore. When did all this change and why? Why not do something about it? Let’s continue with Series 3 of this journey of making your wife feel like a million bucks! If you missed, Series 1 & 2, you can catch them here:
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 1 (Dates & Getaways)
– Are You Spoiling Your Wife Rotten? – Series 2 (Praises & Affection)

Below is a continuation of what the wives had to say about what makes them feel spoilt rotten:

5. Remembering special days/things about her

I get blown away when he always remembers special days e.g. my birthday, our anniversary, our first kiss, our first date, the day he proposed, the day I moved to Ghana to join him etc. and then surprises me with dinners and gifts in hidden places or makes sure he does something special to remember.
I also love that he remembers my favourite meals at our favourite restaurant and sometimes orders without asking me especially if I am not cooking and I request him to get take out.

6. Giving her gifts (both random and on special occasions)

He is very thoughtful and generous. He buys me gifts even when there is no special occasion.
Being a gifts person, I love gifts, and will never get enough of them. Random surprise gifts blow me off my feet i.e. “no occasion, I just thought you would love it” kind of gifts; or small impromptu gifts that are not expensive just to show he is thinking about me or just to say “I love you”!
He gets me amazing gifts e.g. gorgeous shoes, funky ripped jeans, Michael Kors watch with diamonds (I can’t even wear it in Nairobi streets). He imports all these glam stuff from the States. I totally just love the thought and effort he puts in towards getting me the stuff.
I think 80% of my outfits/dresses/shoes/bags/jewellery were bought by him or he was with me to pick them. He always gets it right (right fit, right style). I think he’s got better taste than I do. That’s his love language, I guess, and if he doesn’t buy, he will give me a good amount/shopping vouchers to go spoil myself. I really love this!
I like retail therapy (even though I don’t buy anything), so a shopping spree is a big deal! And I prefer when it’s just me being bought for, not that I am looking for something then he ends up buying for himself instead:-)
Each time hubby dearest travels, he comes home bearing a gift. He started it during the early years of our marriage to cheer me up as I would be miserable when he was away. He has however kept up with this habit 5 years down the line and it blows me away each time!
He picks a bottle of perfume from his work trips. I have very many perfumes – all from him.
I love it when I mention in passing how I need something and then I find he went and got it for me. I find this really hot!
I will hint I want an iPhone and one day I find it in the house!! Be it shoes or jewellery, he really takes his time to get me things I will love.
I love that he knows what I love and goes out of his way to do it or buy it for me e.g. my favourite chai latte when I have had a long day.
He also brings me groundnuts and chocolates, which I love!
Sometimes he will surprise me with a meal I like e.g. kuku (chicken) every now and then. At times it is usually late at night and he will wake me up to eat. It shows he was thinking about me.
I also love it when he calls me on his way home and insists that he buys one of my favourite food items like carrot cake or fried chicken or pizza just because he knows I enjoy these things.
Sometimes he orders meals and sends them to my office. I just get a call from the reception.
Other times he gets me a book that he thinks I would like eg. over the weekend, he bought me 2 books by Chimamanda. I recently started reading her books and I love them. So it was very thoughtful of him to go out of his way to buy me the books.
He also buys me thoughtful and practical gifts e.g. a power bank because my phones are always running out of charge.
Sometimes he makes me gadgets that I consider to be the best invention yet! For instance, when he noticed my many earrings kept tangling up, he made me a board with chains to hang my over 200+ earrings plus made a provision to accommodate more! How practical is this ‘guy-guy’?
He can go to Woolworths and come back with a 6 pack of panties and matching bras. He once bought me Kotex sanitary ware (plus panty liners) to last just over 6 months!
I also love it when he records something on TV that he thinks will interest me.
When we got our new car, he didn’t tell me what kind of car it was. So we made a deal that when the car finally arrived, he would put ribbons all around the car and surprise me! And he did just that!
I love flowers and my husband will send me beautiful flowers often to the office even when there’s nothing to celebrate. He has a reputation in our office!
He sends me flowers to work on special occasions. I’m really not crazy about flowers but I love the thought and what it says. So I love it when he does it!
He is a romantic! For example, when we were in university, he sent me white rose flowers every single day for one year without fail regardless of the fact that they were expensive and I would just leave them to wither and never took care of them. He got me flower vases that I broke but he never let up. He chose white because he said our liaison was pure.
I also love it when he picks flowers from our garden and sets them out on the table for me to find them.
He also puts little surprises in my handbag and l find them the following day at work.

Aaw:-) Some men have got game, hey? Reading some of these posts literally melted my heart!

My thoughts:
With technology these days, one can save dates and get reminders. So even if your memory might not be the best, putting recurring reminders on your phone to remind you of some of the special days will go a long way towards impressing the Mrs. and scoring you massive points!

And as you’ve seen above, gifts don’t have to be expensive. They can be as simple or as complex as you want them to be! And you don’t have to wait for a special occasions to dish them out. Frankly speaking, most women would prefer small inexpensive presents spread throughout the year than a big expensive gift once in a blue moon.

So go ahead, wow your lady with some of these small but meaningful gestures!

Until then,
Watch out for Series 4 and continue spoiling your wife rotten!

If you enjoyed this post, kindly rate it by clicking on the 5 stars below:

For more invaluable insights on my journey of marriage and life, do pop into the “Devotions/Life Insights” section on my blog every now and then.

Thank you!
Dee